Susan Benjamin’s article “Public shame” (Op-Ed, Dec. 30) was a well-intentioned attempt to defend the value of children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, it ended up demeaning the role of fathers and the importance of marriage.
Benjamin said that she never intended to marry the father of her child. This doesn’t matter, she said, because her son is “loved and nurtured.” Society should not use words like “illegitimate” or “unwed mother,” she seems to be saying, because such terms imply that husbands are essential to the parenting process.
I suppose I’m one of the “right-wing proponents of the traditional family” whom Benjamin dislikes. But it’s the value of children–the truth she tries to defend–that motivates my opinion. I believe each child deserves the benefit of a mother and a father who are committed to each other for life. The fact that many marriages don’t live up to that ideal is no reason to give up on the goal.
