Dear Ann Landers: I am writing to you because I don’t know where else to go and have no idea what to do about my problem, which is intensely personal.
Ever since I married in 1985, I have had a problem with premature ejaculation. My wife divorced me seven years ago, and some of her parting comments were very painful. She cited my “adolescent sexual performance” as one of the reasons she was leaving. I’m sure this was an excuse for other things that bothered her, but I also know my sexual inadequacy didn’t help. It must be very frustrating to a woman.
After my divorce, the problem got worse and has remained that way. For this reason, I have shied away from serious relationships. I’m writing to you, Ann, because I now have met someone very special. We’ve been dating for three months and have had many terrific evenings together. I am developing some very deep feelings for her and am certain she feels the same about me. I’m sure she is also beginning to wonder why a grown man seems willing to settle for high school necking.
I want this problem corrected, but I have a very high-profile job and news travels fast in this town. There are no secrets. What can I do about it?
Ready for a Change in D.C.
Dear D.C.: You can stop agonizing about “news traveling fast” and go immediately to a urologist and get some help. Your problem is one that can be remedied with proper instruction. Tell your girlfriend about your problem, and don’t worry about how she’ll take it. If she is as great as you say, she will be supportive and helpful.
Educating students about smoking
Dear Ann Landers: Thirty or 40 years ago, most of the staff and students at colleges and universities smoked. Today, there might be one or two pathetic outcasts huddled in ivy-covered doorways or terraces, getting a last pull of smoke into their lungs. In this environment, my wife and I, along with millions of others, managed to break the hold of the nicotine monster. We quit smoking.
As you know, recent reports of increased smoking by teenagers are alarming. So what can be done? I suggest that you urge schoolteachers at all levels to conduct contests in which the students develop short, powerful antismoking slogans. Then, they could vote on which slogan is likely to be “most effective.” An example could be something like “Smokers are Losers.” Winners could receive appropriate prizes, and the results could be given to local newspapers and radio and TV stations.
Also, schools could compete with each other and have their slogans judged by advertising firms. Many antismoking ideas could receive some publicity this way.
Go to it, Ann. The ball is in your court.
The Old Prof in Okemos, Mich.
Dear Old Prof: You say, “Today, there might be one or two pathetic outcasts huddled in ivy-covered doorways or terraces, getting a last pull of smoke into their lungs.” Your statement is picturesque, but your numbers are wrong. There are a lot more than “one or two.”
On the campuses I have visited in the last few years, I have seen a great many smokers in small groups lighting up, and it saddens me because I know these young people are addicted. The strategy of the tobacco people is to “get ’em hooked young,” and it certainly has worked.
Your suggestions, however, are good ones. The best slogan I can think of is “Smoking Stinks” — because it certainly does.
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What’s the truth about pot, cocaine, LSD, PCP, crack, speed and downers? “The Lowdown on Dope” has up-to-the-minute information on drugs. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Lowdown, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.)
