In our dizzyingly neurotic world of conflicting news and constant fretting–about health and exercise, the future of Social Security and whether Kenneth Starr is ever going to wrap it up–Wednesday’s report that a one-mile-wide asteroid was likely to hit the Earth in 30 years did nothing if not put the daily worry mill into proper perspective.
The asteroid warning came from Brian G. Marsden, director of the Central Bureau for Astronomical Telegrams in Cambridge, Mass., and a man with a clear streak of passive-aggressiveness.
He reassured us his calculations were approximate, and there was no cause for alarm. But then he gave us the date of impact–October 26, 2028, that’s a Thursday–as if to give everyone a chance to calculate their age on The Day It May Be All Over. Marsden also mentioned that the latest asteroid is but one of 108 PHOs (potentially hazardous objects) from space that could wham the Earth.
Science writers prompted pelted us with all manner of apocalyptic data. The last big asteroid’s impact near the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula was comparable to 5 billion atomic bombs, and it probably led to the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. And wait: Even a much smaller asteroid or comet could trigger devastating forest fires and tidal waves.
By Thursday, the future looked considerably brighter. Two astronomers at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif., reviewed the calculations and declared the chances of a hit to be zero. Marsden, posing by his ancient-looking telescope, agreed.
So you may now go back to worrying about your LDL levels and whether enrolling your daughter at a costly all-girls school was such a wise move after all.
