Cher. Navel. Turkey feather headdress. Bob Mackie.
Sharon Stone. T-shirt. Gap. Long skirt.
Demi Moore. Lace-edged bike shorts. Designer: herself.
Barbra Streisand. See-through. Pre-fitness. Butt situation.
Kim Basinger. One-armed white satin thing.
Jodie Foster. Armani anything.
You remember the outfits they wore to the Oscars, and maybe you even remember the year. Now, quick, see if you can remember why they were there.
Well, of course you can’t–but it’s not important, really. The Oscars aren’t about movies anymore. They’re about outfits.
Outfits probably became a big issue in the Oscar mire the year of The Letter.
“There will be no cleavage on this year’s Oscar Awards show,” it began. “This was a major criticism we received last year, that the necklines were too low.”
Forty years ago, when that letter was actually sent to Academy Award nominees and presenters of the cleavage gender, Geena Davis and Melanie Griffith were a year old. Decades later, what they wear–or don’t–to the Oscars and how much cleavage they muster have become increasingly important topics, not only to George and Verna (or whoever) in Cedar Rapids, but also to Giorgio and Vera (Armani and Wang) in locations slightly more exotic.
How important? Well, important enough that many of the celebs who show up at the Oscars in designer duds are never expected to whip out a Visa card. Many of those five-figure dresses, my dears, are quite free to the wearers, who are being paid seven figures for a single movie.
But compared to the cost of buying a $1 million spot on the telecast, handing over a $12,000 outfit to a starlet is no big deal for a designer, famous or otherwise (especially otherwise). It’s literally money in the bank when a starlet shouts out Badgley Mischka, Richard Tyler or Pamela Dennis in answer to the question, “Who designed your outfit?” (It is the second most frequently asked question, after the monumentally important “Who’s your date?”)
And to have their names shouted out, written down and bandied about on “Entertainment Tonight,” designers and their minions are more than willing to cajole, flatter and otherwise encourage high-profile celebs to be wearing their label when they step out of the limousine and into TV camera range on Monday night. Because the next morning, people will be asking for the Nicole Kidman dress at the high-end shops on Oak Street and Fifth Avenue. In a few months, there’ll be knockoff versions at Filene’s Basement.
Who’s wearing what is such important business that there has been an actual official Oscar fashion coordinator for the last 10 years. He’s Fred Hayman, the owner of a tony Rodeo Drive store featuring designer fashions, shoes, jewelry and accessories that could pay off your mortgage.
It’s not like everybody has to get approval from Fred for their outfits, or even go to his store to get them (although many do). Jessica Yu, producer of the 1997 short subject documentary award winner, said in her acceptance speech that her outfit cost more than her movie. She returned the $5,000 strapless Mary McFadden number and the $165,000 in diamonds to Hayman’s store the next day.
Fred and his people handle another important task: They keep track of who’s wearing what (which they find out by calling the designers and the stars and their respective people). This is important, because shortly before the Oscars, the media will call for this information so that they can be the first to break the news that Antonio Banderas will be wearing a Tufino Yomama (joke, folks) tuxedo.
In fact, what the boys are wearing has become practically as important as what the girls are wearing, even though they don’t have nearly as many choices. (You got your black tux, your navy tux, your well, OK, that’s about it on the boy choices.)
This year, only a couple of the female nominees are Oscar veterans. Joan Cusack and Julie Christie, to name two. Kim Basinger had that one-armed thing a few years back, and that shapeless black two-piece number at the Golden Globes, so things can only get better for her, fashion-wise. None of the other nominees–Helen Hunt, Helena Bonham Carter, Kate Winslet, Minnie Driver, Julianne Moore, Gloria Stuart and Judi Dench–is known for outrageousness, so chances are good it’ll be a safe and tasteful Oscar year.
Darn.
