The term New Age spirituality evokes images of believers awaiting the dawn of a harmonious era of existence and celestial messages delivered by channeled entities. You think of auras and energy fields, crystals and pyramids. And chances are, you think of California. Certainly not conventional Naperville, Ill.
But one of Naperville’s own, Kurt Krueger, the son of prominent Naperville-area Realtors Bette and Rudy Krueger, has embraced what he refers to as an expanded level of awareness characteristic of New Age seekers (although he admits discomfort with the catch-all term New Age). It has not been an easy journey. He has wrestled with his own skepticism, on one occasion even questioning his sanity. Some friends have found his views “hard to digest.” His parents, who openly accept his life choices, worry that people might label his views “way out there.”
Conversely, there are those who view Krueger as having an extraordinary gift. They see him tapping into a vast spiritual well and come to him seeking inspiration, guidance and answers to their deepest questions about life. A young man with long, curly dark hair, a soft voice and a warm, peaceful smile, Krueger, 27, seems an archetypal spokesman for this new approach to spirituality.
Brought up within the Christian Science faith (which rejects doctors and modern medicine in favor of healing through prayer), he says his involvement with organized religion was more intellectual than spiritual. As a child, however, he recalls feeling “aware that there was something more beyond this realm.” In elementary school, he wrote stories about higher beings residing in crystal palaces.
As he got older, he abandoned such notions for the ultraconservative, ultratraditional lifestyle that seemed the logical outcome of his suburban upbringing. An exceptional student, he studied Chinese language at the University of Chicago and planned to go on to law school and a career in international law. Increasingly, however, Krueger found himself unable to suppress feelings of doubt and confusion.
“I felt like I was about to start living someone else’s life,” he says. “I had to think some more about what I was all about.”
After graduating in 1992, Krueger took a trip to Taiwan, where he visited monasteries, spent time meditating in the mountains and strove to redefine his goals. He considered foreign service or CIA work and procured a final-round interview in Washington. En route to the interview, he was stricken with the powerful conviction that this, too, was the wrong path. He decided to pursue a PhD in Chinese language and literature at the University of Chicago in preparation for a professorship. He was awarded a full fellowship.
Meanwhile, his parents, well-known in Naperville for sponsoring the annual Great American Yard Sale benefiting local charities, didn’t know what to make of their son, the youngest of three boys. “He was clearly searching,” said Rudy Krueger. “He kept changing direction so many times we couldn’t keep track.”
One of Kurt Krueger’s longtime friends, Alan Welch of Naperville, saw him as being “caught between two different worlds. He was very intellectual, very focused on getting his degree and a good job. It didn’t seem like he could apply this new spiritual information to his everyday life.”
Then, last summer, Krueger’s maternal grandmother, Ruth, with whom he says he had his most important spiritual connection, died at age 87 from kidney failure. Disillusioned by a Christian Science practitioner’s actions during Ruth’s last days, the family began to withdraw from the church. “Because she took one tiny pill (for pain), the practitioner wouldn’t offer any help,” Bette Krueger said.
Although acknowledging that rejecting medicine is a core belief, “the woman was dying,” Rudy argues. “He could have at least consoled her.”
As for Kurt Krueger, “my life turned upside-down. I had dreams every night for 60 days after she died. She came in and we discussed life after death and what the astral planes were like. She counseled me on the life I was still living.” He turned to exhaustive research, absorbing an estimated 50 books on spirituality and dream interpretation.
Ultimately, Krueger turned down the fellowship at the University of Chicago. Although his parents admit initial shock and disappointment, they remained firm in their support.
“I’ve always had the philosophy that whatever my sons choose should not be laborious, or they won’t be good at it,” Rudy said. “I saw that Kurt was pursuing things important to him, and I felt sure he would be successful at anything he did.”
Krueger began attending workshops on energy healing and clairvoyant ability. He explored past-life therapy and channeling. He lived in California for several months. He let his hair grow longer. He even took a new name: Astarius An.
Seeing the change in their son, Bette and Rudy began researching the New Age movement, where both claim to have found threads of profound truth and inspiration. Rudy said he has never felt closer to his son. He will not, however, call him Astarius.
“I call him Asparagus,” Rudy said with a smile. Bette just wishes he’d cut his hair.
Welch believes Naperville may be less likely to accept Krueger because of his unconventional manner: “I thought it was wonderful that he was saying all these things as an intellectual person and still had (a conservative) look. I thought people would be more receptive to him. But now he looks like a guy you’d see at a health food store.”
Still, there are those who seek him out, paying between $50 and $100 an hour to have him do readings for them. During these sessions, Krueger meditates or enters a light trance and invites the client’s “divine essence to attend the Council of One,” which he describes as an assemblage of higher beings that reside within his consciousness. He then listens for “different members of the council to field the questions.”
“He helped me clarify some issues,” said client Laura Sanders of Sugar Grove (real name withheld). “I realized that my history of being a victim can’t keep repeating itself. It was like a waking up of something inside me. It was a positive experience.”
Kevin Conlin of Naperville, who recently abandoned the corporate world for a career in music and is engaged in his own spiritual quest, said he finds comfort and validation in Krueger’s dialogues. “It’s important for me to be surrounded by people who have the courage to go where the spirit wants them to go,” he said.
Perhaps the most difficult claim to accept — by skeptics and initially even by Krueger — is that he communicates on a regular basis with Mother Earth, whom he senses as “a divine feminine essence” although he says he has seen her on a few occasions. He describes her as “a lustrous being who radiates beauty.”
She came to him one restless, sleepless night last January and “told me about an agreement made long ago in the higher dimensions to do work together in this life,” he says. “I thought I had lost it. I thought I was having a psychotic episode.”
To make sense of the incident, Krueger turned to others in the New Age community claiming similar experiences. He also reread some of the stories he had written as a child. “They all contained pieces of the puzzle,” he says.
In time, he says, he accepted a “channeling assignment” resulting in a book titled “Remember: Mother Earth’s Message for Mankind,” for which he is seeking a publisher. “For people into New Age consciousness, there are a lot of materials out there, but there isn’t much information regarding the perspective of the consciousness of the planet,” he says. “It’s an important factor right now, because there are a lot of changes going on.”
Krueger is surprised but unperturbed when he encounters skeptics, especially those convinced he is consorting with the devil or dallying in a cult. The source of his enlightenment is the universal love that we all possess, he says, discernible to anyone listening with an open heart.
“There’s nothing evil, nothing spooky about it,” Bette Krueger agreed. “It’s all based on love and goodness, on being more joyful.”
But is Naperville ready for Astarius An and New Age spirituality?
Kevin Conlin thinks so, citing Naperville’s transient nature and the influx of new residents, which provides the opportunity for more open minds. Rudy Krueger thinks the city’s large population of educated residents also creates an atmosphere of openness.
As for local spiritual leaders, how do they view New Age spirituality?
“It seems to be a response to that hunger we all have, to know God and find peace in our hearts,” said Rev. Gregor Gorsic of Saints Peter and Paul Catholic Church in Naperville. He expressed concern, however, that the movement operates without benefit and support of a church community. “It’s a very individual thing,” he said.
Rabbi Michael Remson of Congregation Beth Shalom in Naperville observed that “as with any faith, there are things that can be learned from it, and there are serious potential abuses.” The most meaningful faiths, he stressed, are those inspiring people to make the world a better place. “Does (Krueger) do good for the people who don’t accept his viewpoints or only offer serenity to those who already do?” he asked.
Rev. Mark Simmons of Marquette Manor Baptist Church in Downers Grove said any spiritual movement not rooted in the Bible is unacceptable. “The source of our church is the word of God,” he said. “The New Age movement makes it sound as if the truth is only within yourself.”
Krueger says he welcomes opposing views: “There is no one truth, but one essence that supplies all truths. Everybody experiences a different reality.”
And for Kurt Krueger, the reality in which he now resides is the one that provides him, at long last, with a sense of peace.
To contact Krueger, a.k.a Astarius An, call 630-355-1555.
