Dr. What-If: I’d like to build a new house, but I have trouble making decisions, tend to focus solely on money and believe anyone who works for me should do whatever I tell them, even when I’m wrong. Do you foresee any problems?
A Builder’s Nightmare Waiting to Happen
Dear Builder’s Nightmare: Your name says it all. At least you have enough sense to seek help before you enter into one of the most important relationships of your life.
Building a new home, or starting a major remodeling project, is sort of like getting married. The contractor is the most important person in the life of your new abode and the key to happiness is working together as a team with open communication, experts say.
“You spend an exorbitant amount of time together from beginning to end, especially if you custom build,” said builder Mary Schroeder, president of Miller Homes Inc. in Brookfield.
In fact, Schroeder typically spends a year and a half with a customer, from project start to finish. Her clients spend about 10 hours a week on their houses, including going to the house to “bond with it and see what’s happening,” she said.
At its best, a builder/client relationship can develop into a lifelong friendship or, at its worst, end in something akin to divorce, litigation and all.
“If you don’t like the builder or the people you’re about to work with, don’t build with them,” is Schroeder’s advice.
Psychologist Susan Edwards, of Princeton, N.J., agrees. She advises both builders and consumers about good business relationships and is a columnist for trade publications and an author.
“Tell people to pick a good builder and trust that person,” Edwards said in a telephone interview.
Edwards advises builders on how to screen the “nightmare client,” especially those who could be “serial litigators.” But she said she is most interested in building positive relationships between clients and businesses.
Schroeder is a member of the arbitration board for the Metropolitan Builders Association of Greater Milwaukee. Her experience on the board has been “a great teacher for what not to do in business,” she said.
“In the greatest number of arbitration cases I see, usually it never was a good relationship to begin with, but it was the best price.”
“The main thing is patience,” said Schroeder.
And being realistic certainly helps.
“If you find yourself walking into the store and saying, `I can wear this’ because it’s on the mannequin, you may not be the best person to build a (custom) house,” Schroeder said.
In other words, putting a size 6 on a size 14 body isn’t any more realistic than fitting what you see in one home into your home unless it’s a “cookie cutter” or production home, Schroeder said.
The person who truly believes everything in life must be perfect may have a tough time building a new home.
“They don’t understand natural materials aren’t perfect,” Schroeder said. “That same person says, ‘I spent this much money and I deserve to have it be perfect.’ Their level of perfection exceeds the norm.”
Schroeder is one to talk. She’s a self-proclaimed perfectionist.
“But I apply it to myself, not everyone else,” she said, adding she tends to attract people who want perfection.
Another person who may have trouble is someone who looks at the builder as subservient, Schroeder said.
Schroeder said she heard of one builder who tests a potential relationship with a client by engaging him or her in a conversation about death. Sooner or later, the builder says, we all end up in the same place six feet under.
If the customer argues the point, the builder knows he’s in trouble, she said.
Another red flag for the builder, Edwards said, “is if you are told you were sought out because you’re the best builder around, and all the others are idiots.”
Howard Rowell, owner of Royal Chimney Service in Milwaukee, said no personality type or psychological profile should be exempt from being a remodeling or building customer.
“Communication is the key,” he said. “They should relay to the contractor ‘I expect perfection’ if that’s how they feel. Some companies may feel a little uncomfortable with that, while others will say, `I think we can do it.”‘
Rowell is a member of the ethics committee of the Milwaukee/NARI Home Improvement Council Inc.
And communication is a two-way street, Rowell noted. The contractor should make sure the client understands what life will be like during the project not only the quality of work, but living conditions, delay factors and the time frame.
“There may be one or two days when a contractor isn’t around because he’s waiting for a subcontractor,” Rowell said. “People sometimes perceive that (the contractor) is starting another job, when that’s not the case.”
Once the customer is on edge, he or she starts developing a list of things that aren’t going right, and “a mole hill turns into a mountain,” he said.
“Ninety-nine percent of problems could have been resolved if proper communication took place up front, or on follow-up,” Rowell said of his work on the ethics committee, which handles arbitration.
“Customers need to know what questions to ask, and the best communicator paints a picture of how the work will develop on a daily basis,” he said, referring to the contractor.
