For many families, finding the perfect nanny can seem like an impossible mission.
The list of characteristics parents want in a caregiver for their children can be mindboggling: experienced, yet willing to adjust to the family’s way of doing things; strict, but the children must adore her; responsible and reliable, but also fun and creative; capable of creating a safe home environment, yet one which is also stimulating; and loving, but not lax with the children.
In other words, a clone of Mary Poppins.
But there is no real-life Mary Poppins, and in this time of near-record low unemployment, agencies are reporting a shrinking pool of candidates for the job as would-be nannies opt for other, higher-paying positions outside the child-care profession.
But that doesn’t mean that excellent, in-home child care is not available. Child-care experts say that if families make an informed, thoughtful search for a nanny, they can still find the next best thing to Mary Poppins. Doing so, however, requires time, introspection and active participation in the process.
The first step comes well before the family is actually ready to begin their search.
Kathy Murphy, owner of North Shore Nannies in Evanston, says parents need to have a thorough understanding of their own expectations about child care and childrearing to have a successful relationship with a nanny.
Many families are overly concerned about a nanny’s experience, she says, but the key to creating a successful relationship with a child-care provider is having parents with a firm grasp of childrearing issues and how they want their nanny to deal with them. For example, Murphy suggests parents first discuss among themselves child developmental issues such as the use of a pacifier, thumb-sucking and even meals.
“The families should think about what is important to them,” Murphy says. “The goal is to start and maintain a relationship with open communication and to be able to form a partnership with the nanny around the care of the child.”
Also, consider your expectations about the nanny’s actual work, says Carla Watson of NannySitters in Schaumburg.
Many families have unrealistic expectations about the length of the nanny’s work day and the household chores she should perform, including housekeeping and dog walking.
Watson says overburdening a nanny can be a sure-fire method for failure. “You have to be realistic with your expectations,” she says. “Parents often want someone to do full housekeeping and provide child care. That is not realistic, especially if you have several children.”
Once families have a firm grasp on their expectations, values and needs, they are ready to embark on their actual search for a nanny.
According to Watson, the search should begin four to six weeks before the anticipated start day. The more time families can allot to the process, the more candidates they can interview. However, starting too early may be a detriment, Watson warns, because nannies often seek new jobs within a one-month time frame.
Murphy also advises new parents not to begin thinking about hiring a nanny until they are comfortably home from the hospital. “Ideas about child care change after they have a baby,” she says.
There are a variety of ways to search for a nanny, including newspaper advertisements, church groups and word-of-mouth. Child-care experts say nanny agencies can be the most efficient method because they have a ready pool of applicants screened for a family’s particular needs.
“Agencies give families the protection of not exposing themselves to ads,” says Watson. “It is also important to have a team working with you to establish a nanny’s background.”
But agencies are not cheap. Expect to pay $1,000 to $7,000. Most agencies provide placement guarantees and will continue their services anywhere from 30 days to a year after the original placement if the nanny does not work out, says Dawn Bonner, a domestic recruitment specialist in Chicago.
Whether you go with an agency or do it yourself, expect to have a tiered interview process with candidates.
Murphy advises families to think about the questions they want to ask, including those about the candidate’s background, experience and reason for pursuing a child-care job.
“Find out why they are doing this,” she says. “You do not want to hire someone who is doing this because she can’t do anything else.”
Bonner also suggests that couples inquire about a candidate’s family background and personal life. “If she has a lot of problems in her current family life, it will spill into the job,” she says.
Child-care experts say parents also should ask a potential nanny about her views on discipline. Adults who were disciplined with corporal punishment as children have a tendency to repeat this behavior.
To allow the parents and candidate to speak freely, the first interview should not include the children, Murphy says. If the parents are impressed with the candidate, she should be interviewed a second time with the children present, and her interactions with the children should be closely watched
If there is time, Murphy also recommends spending a test day with the nanny before she is hired.
Experts say it is imperative for a candidate’s background to be thoroughly reviewed, including her criminal and driving records, before she is hired. Most nanny agencies work with private investigators, who conduct these checks, and they are included in the price of the fee, Watson says.
Families who do not use an agency should, at the very least, be able to obtain a verifiable work history from the candidate, including names, addresses and dates of employment. References also should be checked, even if the nanny is placed through an agency that has already done a background investigation.
Once that perfect candidate is found, Bonner recommends that the terms of the employment relationship be formalized in a written document. The contract should specify the nanny’s salary, the dates of salary review, work hours and the number of vacation and sick days. Bonner says the contract should be specific about any areas of potential confusions such as the nanny’s vacation periods being limited to those that coincide with the family’s vacations.
By eliminating those potential sources of confusion, families stand a better chance of having a long and happy relationship with a nanny.
