Dear Ann Landers: I am writing to reply to the woman who was looking for the impossible dream in her marriage. I agree that the sparks and excitement of an illicit love affair can be thrilling, but the results are often devastating. I learned that lesson firsthand.
I met a man at work who took my breath away. We were both married to other people, so it was just an innocent flirtation at first. We used to stare at each other from across the room. After a few months, he got up the nerve to ask me to lunch. I was flattered and excited. One thing led to another, and you can guess the rest. We both knew it was wrong, but somehow, it felt so right. The innocent flirting turned into a full-blown love affair that lasted seven years.
I now thank my lucky stars that he decided not to leave his wife and I decided to stay with my husband. Please continue to tell your readers that the temporary excitement of extracurricular romance with candlelight and wine are not worth the pain. I stayed married to a man I can trust and depend on. I count my blessings every day that he was able to forgive me.
Forever Grateful
Dear Grateful: Your letter is much more powerful than anything I can say. Thank you for writing.
Dear Ann Landers: In the early 1980s, you printed a letter that changed my life. A mother wrote for help with her daughter who compulsively pulled out her eyelashes and eyebrows.
I was 12 years old when I began pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows. I felt alone and crazy until I read that letter in your column. You responded with kindness and told her that millions of people do this and it has a name: trichotillomania. Today, because of your letter, I am whole emotionally. I am still addressing this condition, but I have no shame and no longer suffer in isolation. I know one day I’ll be able to stop.
Years later, you printed letters by two other sufferers. You referred them to the Trichotillomania Learning Center. Please print the address again, Ann, so others can be helped as I was.
C.S. in Sacramento, Calif.
Dear C.S.: With pleasure. An estimated 8 million to 10 million people in the United States have trichotillomania, and most of them still feel they are “the only ones.”
The Trichotillomania Learning Center is the nation’s only resource center devoted to helping people with this disorder. It provides information on treatment referrals, current medical knowledge and networking, and assists in setting up support groups. When I mentioned the organization last time, more than 16,000 wrote to TLC to ask for help and information.
For information, send $3 to: Trichotillomania Learning Center Inc., 1215 Mission St., Santa Cruz, CA. 95060 (www.trich.org). Because you wrote, many others will be helped as you were.
Dear Ann Landers: Please say a word about people who drive around with their kids unbuckled. I’ve seen kids standing, jumping, switching seats and climbing through the rear window of a pickup. I recently heard about an accident where a driver was transporting more than 20 kids in a van.
To those who think it’s a nuisance to buckle up a kid when you get into a car, think for a minute about how hard it would be to pick out a casket and headstone for your precious child.
Been There in Pevely, Mo.
Dear Pevely: You’ve written a letter that will save many young lives. Bless you on behalf of all the parents who read it.
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Planning a wedding? What’s right? What’s wrong? “The Ann Landers Guide for Brides” will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL. 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.
