Dear Ann Landers: The woman in Houston who tried to reconcile with her older brother, with whom she had not spoken for several years, reminded me of the situation with my own brother, “Arthur.”
“Houston” said her brother never liked her because she beat him at tennis, made better grades in school and had a happy marriage. When she tried to reconcile with him, he told her to go to hell.
She probably could not see what her successes did to her brother, who obviously had very little self-esteem to begin with. No doubt, she boasted more than a little and took great pleasure in besting him at every turn. I could tell by her letter that even after many years, she still considered herself to be superior.
My brother started picking on me the first time I got straight A’s in elementary school and his grades were so poor he was held back a year. What “Houston’s” brother failed to see was how much his little sister needed his approval. I, too, wanted my big brother to be proud of me, but each of my victories was a nail in his coffin of self-esteem.
I hope “Houston” will keep trying to reconcile with her brother. She should write a letter listing all the things that she admires about him. Maybe it will help her see the good things her brother has done with his life, and he will feel that his sister appreciates him.
I was lucky because Arthur and I were able to understand each other a lot better as we grew older. He was killed in a motorcycle accident recently, and I miss him terribly. My dear brother was hard-working, generous and loyal, made friends easily and never had an unkind word to say about anyone. He was a far greater success in life than he realized.
C.C. in Maryland
Dear Maryland: Thank you for an insightful and generous letter. Sibling rivalry can be extremely painful and intense. Remember Cain and Abel and Jacob and Esau? Your letter is sure to help many readers judge themselves less harshly when it comes to rocky family relationships.
Dear Ann Landers: I am not offended by the lawyer jokes that are constantly floating around, although they do become a bit tedious. I do wonder, however, how many of your readers are aware of the distinguished history of the legal profession.
I know what most members of the public apparently do not — that history is filled with generations of lawyers who have stood up against tyranny to build a free society. Of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, 25 were lawyers. The author, Thomas Jefferson, was himself a lawyer. Of the 55 delegates to the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia who hammered out our Constitution, 31 were lawyers. Twenty-five of the nation’s 42 presidents have been lawyers.
Disreputable lawyers deserve to be criticized. They are a disgrace, and the public, as well as the legal profession, is well served by their exposure. But they are only a footnote in the story of the legal tradition. For every charlatan, we can find dozens of honorable lawyers to offset the jokes, the negative reports and the dishonorable few.
Proud to Be a Lawyer in Houston
Dear Houston: Thanks for an eloquent defense of your profession. If I ever get into trouble in Houston, I will call on you.
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