Today: News Items You May Have Missed and Opinions You Won’t Be So Lucky As To Avoid.
Item 1.
Iowa State basketball coach Tim Floyd resigns; Floyd named director of basketball operations for the world champion Chicago Bulls; Floyd to replace Phil Jackson as Bulls’ coach.
OK. Unless you were off-world in the last few weeks, you didn’t miss this item. As one who learned basketball from the legendary Illinois high school coach Dolph Stanley, I am qualified to remark on the sporting implications of this news.
But I’ll take a whack at the real estate side of the story instead, because I think I have identified the perfect neighborhood for Floyd to move to: a special 12-block area of Ravenswood on the city’s North Side that has been infested by the Asian longhorn beetle.
Why? Well, soon they will begin chopping down tall trees that have become an institution in the area and replace them with younger, weaker saplings that will have a lot of growing to do. Floyd will feel right at home in a place where an invader has triggered a massive rebuilding program.
But which do you think will happen first–Floyd reconstructs the Bulls to their championship stature or Ravenswood’s new trees reach maturity?
Item 2.
Monroe & Friedlander Inc., Hawaii’s largest commercial real estate investment sales, leasing and management organization, together with its international marketing partner, Phoenix-based Terra Marketing Inc., in cooperation with Savio Realty Ltd., announce the listing of the South Pacific Island of Palmyra as available for sale.
Located halfway between Hawaii and American Samoa, Palmyra Island is the northernmost part of the Line Islands. Of its 8,320 acres, 600 acres are dry at high tide. Palmyra Island is a profoundly unique and unspoiled tropical paradise that is privately owned and a possession of the United States, inhabited only by unsurpassed and exotic wildlife. You can view information and photographs on Terra’s Web page at www.terramarketing.com/palmyra.htm.
Geez. If it is as hard to get through the sales and marketing flow chart as it is to get to the island, no wonder nobody lives there. Or could it be the asking price, which is $47 million?
Item 3.
“Get ready Chicago. The United States Gypsum Co. Rock Tour ’98 arrives today. The program, a 10-week, 110-city tour of the nation’s construction sites, is an opportunity for consumers to understand the array of choices for home building and remodeling construction materials. Rock Tour ’98 also honors the true heroes of the job site: the contractors.
“For approximately one week, Rock Tour ’98 trucks will be visiting construction sites in metro Chicago and transforming drywall crews into `Rock Stars’ with gifts of USG SHEETROCK-emblazoned T-shirts and caps. When contractors are using SHEETROCK Brand products, they will automatically be entered into a drawing to win one of nine new trucks on the nationwide tour.”
Oops. The Chicago tour, which was really an opportunity to advertise SHEETROCK Brand gypsum drywall panels, ended July 15. On a scale of Lollapalooza to Lilith Fair, I’m sure it ranked at least a Gordon Lightfoot.
Item 4.
“Buying a House Without a Home Inspection is Like Getting Married on Your First Date” is the headline on a press release from AmeriSpec Home Inspection Service.
“Most people would not think of getting married on the first date. They would go out a few times, meet the family and get to know each other first. Nevertheless, when it comes to buying a home, prospective buyers are often `Homestruck’ and simply overlook what a trained professional would see.”
Hmmm. I’ll admit getting a home inspection is sound advice. But equating it to prenuptuals? Carrying that logic far enough would mean having to recommend you get a trained professional to thoroughly go over your prospective spouse before you tie the knot. And unless I miss my guess, most of those kinds of services remain illegal outside of certain Nevada counties.
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e-mail: skerch@tribune.com
