Any bride or bridegroom will tell you that tying the knot can take months of planning. Sure, it all seems manageable when they are first engaged, but before long all the details, duties and decisions start to multiply. The list-making, scheduling, budgeting, shopping, executing and expediting — not to mention partying at all those prenuptial events — take much more time and energy than they ever imagined.
When it’s finally time to walk down that aisle, the couple are likely to be anything but rested and calm. They’re excited and happy, but exhausted and harried too. And for good reason.
Chicagoans Mandy Butler, 29, and Tony Kernagis, 28, let us peek in on all the demands of their wedding planning efforts. This is merely an abbreviated diary of the process.
Dec. 28, 1997. With ring in hand, Tony pops the question in Cozumel, Mexico, while the couple are on vacation. After dating 11 1/2 years, Mandy is thrilled to get on with it.
Jan. 8, 1998. Tony, a graphic designer, designs the invitations with Mandy in mind. He uses her favorite motif — daisies.
Jan. 11. Finding the perfect dress is Mandy’s top priority. Her first stop, with best friend Eileen Haverty and sister Mary Ann Murray in tow, is Silver Moon, a vintage clothing store in Chicago. “I almost crashed my car checking out a fabulous dress in their window,” she says, “but it didn’t fit.”
Jan. 17. Mandy, Eileen and Mary Ann travel to Long Grove to look for dresses, but no luck. “Everything was too much,” she says, not referring to price at all.
Jan. 19. Mandy has Martin Luther King Jr. Day off, and treks to Bridal Collections in Munster, Ind. Mary Ann and Tony’s mother, Mona Kernagis, tag along, and Mandy hits the jackpot. Within 45 minutes, she finds the perfect gown — an Audrey Hepburnesque style by Jim Hjelm — and orders it. Delivery will take almost six months, which gives her just enough time to have it ready for July. Total bill, with a 20 percent discount, is $800.
Jan. 21. One day at work, it dawns on Mandy, an elementary schoolteacher in Chicago, that the perfect spot for the wedding reception is the barn at Sergeant Means Park in Olympia Fields. She calls there at lunch, reserves July 18, and calls her dad to run over there immediately with a $200 deposit. Mission accomplished.
Jan. 31. Mandy hits Oakbrook Center with Eileen, Mary Ann and Donna Connolly (her sister from San Francisco) to look for bridesmaid dresses. It’s way too soon; nothing remotely suitable is in stock yet.
Feb. 8. Mandy cases Woodfield Mall looking for bridesmaid dresses with Mary Ann, again coming up empty-handed. Still too soon.
Feb. 10. Mandy spots the bridesmaid dress of her dreams in Bride’s magazine and calls the manufacturer to find out when it will be in stores.
Feb. 15. When a priest says he can’t officiate at a wedding unless it’s in church, Mandy calls her friend Michelle Antonietti’s father, who happens to be a judge, and lines him up for the ceremony.
Feb. 27. Mandy returns to the malls (Orland Square this time) with her mom to find a mother-of-the-bride dress. Nothing appeals, but Mandy scoops up her bridal shoes at Baker’s. They’re knockoffs of the pricier Kenneth Cole style she longed for.
March 15. Because Tony’s mother is a crack gardener and has a spectacular yard, Tony asks his parents if they can hold the wedding ceremony at the Kernagis house. His parents say yes.
March 22. Still scouting for bridesmaid dresses, Mandy and Mary Ann visit boutiques on Armitage Avenue in the Lincoln Park area, but can’t find the size range they need; Mandy’s sister is 5 foot 2 and Tony’s sister is 6 feet tall.
April 17. Mandy finally throws in the towel and orders the bridesmaid dresses she saw in Bride’s magazine. They’re available only through catalogs from Dillard’s in Arkansas and Lord & Taylor in New York. Her sisters Donna and Mary Ann take care of ordering them to give her a break.
May 1. Tony takes the invitation to the printer and picks out the paper stock.
May 18. Tony picks up the invitations.
May 24. Mona Kernagis helps Mandy address the invitations — all 75 of them. It takes them all day and most of the evening.
May 20. Mandy and her friend Michelle, a wholesale florist, go to the barn at Sergeant Means Park and Tony’s parents’ back yard to get the lay of the land for the big event.
May 21. Mandy realizes a pro is in order and hires Dan Mitchell of Mitchell’s Orland Park Flowers to handle the whole event. Her only request: lots of daisies.
May 23. Tony and his father are fitted for their wedding clothes.
June 1. Tony mails the invitations on his way to work.
June 2. Mandy’s sister Mary Ann starts making the bridal veil.
June 7. Mandy’s best friends throw her a shower, where Eileen models the bridesmaid dress.
June 15. Reality bites with Mandy’s first wedding-dress fitting. She starts hyperventilating when she puts it on, while sisters Mary Ann and Donna start laughing and crying.
June 18. Mandy’s not taking any chances. She has her makeup and hair done at Just Between Trends in Homewood to practice for the big day. Despite her devotion to a natural look, they go the whole nine yards — from ratting her hair to layering on the makeup. Much to her surprise, she loves the results.
June 20. Another shower, this time in Frankfort with family friends.
June 27. Tony flies off to Las Vegas for the weekend with his 10 best friends (his father included) for a bachelor party.
June 30. Mandy takes Michelle along for a taste test at the caterer, Fresh Starts, in Flossmoor. They pick salmon, vegetable lasagna and beef tenderloin.
June 30. Eileen and Mary Ann have their bridesmaid dresses altered. Both want the tank style to have spaghetti straps.
July 6. Mandy and Tony meet with Judge Edward Antonietti, Michelle’s father, to discuss the ceremony.
July 6. Another dress fitting, and Mandy starts to look like a bride. From there, she and Mary Ann go to a fabric store to find lace and beaded trim at a bargain price for Mandy’s headpiece, and blue and green daisies to glue on her shoes.
July 9. Mandy and Tony meet with the photographer, whom Tony had chosen in March, to go over their game plan.
July 11. Eight friends spirit Mandy off to Milwaukee overnight for a bachelorette party. They check into a hotel, have a tailgate party outside the baseball stadium the next day, see the Cubs-Brewers game, then hit the bars.
July 13. Mandy has her final fitting, including the fabulous headpiece made by Mary Ann. Mandy’s pleased, and thinks the dress “looks awesome.”
July 17. Mandy and Tony relax at their respective family homes, then meet at their rehearsal in Tony’s back yard. From there, on to the prenuptial dinner at Aurelio’s Pizza in Homewood.
July 18. Finally, the big day. Mandy gets started at 9 a.m. with an appointment at Just Between Trends. She has her nails, hair and makeup done, then heads to her parents’ house to don her wedding gown. At 3 p.m., it’s on to the Kernagis house. Mandy’s ready to start down the aisle. At 3:30, the wedding’s about to be a wrap.
