It’s almost fall, which means the over-boiled hyperbole for the new TV season is in full bloom.
After consulting with a team of crack linguists, We Who Surf have begun deciphering the bizarre doublespeak of the men and women who spend gazillions of dollars every year developing new television shows only to cancel most of them 13 weeks later.
We’ve compiled a handy primer to help you figure out what the programming execs say, and what they really mean:
– “This show has plenty of attitude.” Translation: “This show has plenty of cursing.”
– “The show is a result of corporate synergy.” Translation: “Our parent company is forcing us to use Scott Baio in the lead because he’s got two years left on his contract.”
– “It has an organic feel.” Translation: “We hired a slew of writers at the last minute to punch up the pilot.”
– “We had to punch up the pilot.” Translation: “After hiring a slew of new writers, the show still doesn’t work.”
– “This show is an example of our programming for the millenium.” Translation: “We have no idea what the show is about.”
– “This show is an example of our new family programming.” Translation: “Grandma will be asleep before the first commercial break.”
