“Check for your buddy!”
It sounded like Girl Scout camp all over again. Felt like it, too, except for the vastly improved food. No sloppy Joes here.
Eighteen of us being chaperoned through northern Italy by a couple of tour guides, or camp counselors, as I came to think of them — mother hens whose job it was to keep us entertained, well fed, in line and on schedule. A job, I concluded, that deserves combat pay.
As we piled again into our enormous bus, which would deliver us to the day’s adventures, Karen Weir, our American tour guide and chief camp counselor, took attendance. Virginia was there and Nikki. Esther, C.C. and Marci. Marilyne, Cynthia, Charlotte and both Nancys. Adele, Evee and Kim. Vicky and Joan, Dorothy and Karen.
One of us was missing. The one who was always missing. Fixing her hair, trying on one more pair of shoes. She always found something to detain her — and us. Usually, however, she made it before the bus left in a cloud of fumes.
Touring through northern Italy for 10 days with 17 women was as interesting for the group dynamics as it was for the scenery, which is sumptuous in this grape-growing region just downhill from the Alps.
We were women in all states of marriage and non-marriage. Schoolteachers, an accountant, a retired banker, the owner of a company that sells industrial heat-exchangers.
Some were easy and good company, graciously accepting what came, quick with a laugh, engaging storytellers. Others made it their mission to find fault — with the rooms, the food, the destinations, themselves. There were a few who needed a spanking. But the vast majority, I’d be happy to travel with again.
Trips “designed by women for women.” That’s the idea behind the Women’s Travel Club, the organizer of our Italian sojourn. The club, based in Aventura, Fla., was founded six years ago by a woman who decided she didn’t have to stay home just because her husband did.
For 10 years Phyllis Stoller and her husband lived and traveled overseas. Then in 1980 they moved from London to Miami. When he wasn’t trading stocks, Stoller’s husband was happy to golf and relax at home. Stoller, then a banker, had lots of vacation time to burn and no one to burn it with her.
“I was desperate to travel some more,” she said by phone from her Florida office. “I used to ask friends all the time if they would go places. They said, `You must be crazy. Who would want to go to Africa by themselves?’ “
Finally she convinced three pals to accompany her to London.
“I prepared the itinerary,” she said. “I gave them the women’s viewpoint of London. We were seeing things they never saw when they traveled with their husbands or on their own.
“They all said: `You shouldn’t be a banker. This is what you should do.’ “
She took them up on it. As soon as her younger son left home for boarding school, Stoller quit the bank, researched the travel industry and organized a second trip to London. It was followed by excursions to Costa Rica, China and Turkey.
Now the club leads 20 to 25 trips a year, “and it’s going up,” Stoller said.
As its name suggests, the club requires would-be travelers to join. The $35 annual fee buys a subscription to the monthly newsletter, which is mostly a rundown of forthcoming trips.
There are about 1,100 members. For many of them, club travel becomes a habit. Kim Reinhard, a schoolteacher from outside New York, took her first trip in December to Washington. Two months later she went to Louisiana. Four months later, to England. In August, she went to Italy.
“There’s something there that would spark your interest every month,” she said.
Exotic destinations, competitive prices, every detail attended to — the women on the tour found a lot to like, including having a raft of potential companions handy.
In addition to Weir, the American tour guide provided by the club, there was an Italian guide, Wally Zanchetta, who served as translator, raconteur, cultural historian, stand-up (and sit-down) comic.
Wally is certain that, because of her name, the women were expecting a male escort.
“They were disappointed. You can feel it,” she said.
If they were, most of them enjoyed a full and speedy recovery.
“Wally has been an important part of this trip,” said Virginia Curry of Dallas.
“She’s made it,” said Dorothy Singer of New Rochelle, N.Y.
Short, bouncy and spritelike, Wally (pronounced “bah-lay”) kept us hooting with her understated one-liners and charmed us with her lyrical accent-a. When she was awed-a by a particularly wonderful dish, she whispered “mama mia” under her breath.
During the many hours we spent squeezing our way through the countryside on roads and in tunnels that were sometimes just a couple feet wider than the bus, Wally kept at least some of us awake with her wry observations about life in Italy.
As our big bus shuttled back and forth across the mountains en route to the chic alpine ski resort of Cortina, Wally gave us a little background on the town.
“People come here to hike-a, to shop-a. And the food-a, of course.”
The food-a — it was one of the group’s major obsessions, along with shoes.
“We eat it, and then we talk about it. We talk about it, and then we eat it,” said Marci Spiegle, a 47-year-old New Jersey woman who became weak-kneed at every pastry shop we passed.
“We think about food all the time,” said Joan Sohaney from Crown Point, Ind.
And frankly, who could blame them? It seemed we were never more than a few steps from a pastry or gelato vendor. And the fixed-menu dinners that were included in the tour package generally went on for at least four courses, if not more.
The meals — and the rest of the tour — began in Baveno on Lake Maggiore, the first stop after the group arrived in Milan. Our itinerary called for two or three overnights each at Baveno, Trento, Cortina and Bergamo. We established a sort of hurried rhythm: half a day on the bus, a day in town; a day on the bus, a few hours in the next town. And at every rest stop — and there were many — a tidal wave of snacks. Chocolate bars, doughnuts, buttery cookies, sausage and rye bread.
Once we got to our destination and checked into our rooms, generally among the most luxurious in town, the complainers started in. The rooms were too small, the climate control inadequate, the TV selections too few.
It continued at dinner, when we all ate a predetermined meal, except for a couple of the bolder members who insisted on ordering off the menu — and then refused to pay for doing so.
Weir said she generally tries to rein in any problematic behavior by addressing it one-on-one early in a trip.
“I usually don’t have to make a public situation of it,” she said. “But sometimes it doesn’t self-correct.”
Two days before the end of our trip, she picked up the microphone at the front of the bus. The subject: table manners at our forthcoming last supper, the gustatory grand finale. One-on-one wasn’t working.
“Tomorrow night there will be no changes to the menu,” she said sternly. “There will be stimulating conversation. And there will be no conversation in a negative tone about how the food was prepared.”
After the complaints had been dealt with, our second order of business in a new town was usually a local tour, led by a resident guide. The local guides were highly praised by several of the club members. And indeed, they proved quite expert in the local history, art and architecture, and generously shared their knowledge with us.
The itinerary allowed for many unscheduled hours, which was appreciated by many in the group.
“One thing I like is, there’s a lot of free time,” said Vicky Seibert of Coral Springs, Fla. “I like to see how the rest of the city lives.”
The flexible schedule also allowed plenty of opportunities for the serious shoppers in the group — there were some black belts — to indulge themselves.
Weir, who was leading her fourth trip for the travel club, sought out concerts, movies and other last-minute opportunities once we arrived in a new town. En route to Cortina, she picked up her microphone at the front of the bus to make an announcement.
“Ladies, we have a big surprise. But you know I don’t like to announce it till it’s for sure.”
“Leonardo DiCaprio?” said one of the wiseacres in the group.
A wine-tasting, Weir said, in the mountains above the city. They would have a chance to sample a few reds and whites, and be back in Cortina in time for dinner “with more wine.”
“And checking into Alcoholics Anonymous,” said a voice from the rear of the bus.
Although Weir said she tries to encourage mingling in her tour groups, as our trip progressed, alliances inevitably formed — on the bus, at dinner, during our free time. The shoppers formed one contingent. The Southerners another. And the 40-somethings another.
The front of the bus became the province of the sedate and sickly, leaving the back of the bus for the more rambunctious among us. The Southerners, as it turned out. Like Nikki Whited, who moved to Bradenton, Fla., a few years ago but still sounds like Richmond, Va., where she spent most of her life.
We were sitting in our bus in a parking lot, waiting for a couple of stragglers to return, when Whited blurted out: “Look! There’s a man in his undershorts!”
All were suddenly at attention.
“And he’s young and cute! Look, ladies! Look left!” The bus listed slightly in that direction. Sure enough.
These women had chosen to travel without men, but that didn’t mean they lacked an appreciation for a pair of well-chiseled calves.
“It’s not like we have an attitude,” Weir said. In fact, the travel club invites men on certain trips — mostly to developing countries, according to Weir. But they should count on being a tiny minority.
A different set of dynamics takes over in an exclusively female group, Stoller said. Curry, who takes regular hiking trips with a group of friends male and female, can testify to that. Among her hiking pals, she said, “the guys tend to want to run things. When we’re hiking, they’re up-front. They want to set the agenda. I’m like, `That was last week. This is vacation.’ “
A week into the Italy trip, she said, “No one has established a place at the head of the group, and no one is at the rear. We constantly move back and forth.”
When men aren’t present, Stoller said “women talk and act differently. There’s a lot of horsing around that goes on.” Like, say, holding up an outstretched blanket where there is no toilet handy, while women take turns peeing behind it.
Sounds a little like Girl Scout camp, wouldn’t you say?
IF YOU GO
INFORMATION
Women in search of a guided excursion in the company of other women should have little trouble finding what they’re after. There are easily a dozen U.S. tour companies that specialize in travel for women. Some focus on biking, hiking or other strenuous outdoor activities; some specialize in certain states or foreign countries; some in spiritual growth. One caters to mothers and their daughters, or grandmothers and their granddaughters.
Before making a selection, however, you might want to ask a few questions. Phyllis Stoller, founder and owner of the Women’s Travel Club, suggests inquiring about the demographics of the women you’re likely to be traveling with. How old are they? Are they experienced or novice travelers? (This is especially pertinent if you’re considering an overseas trip.)
Stoller also suggests getting some details about the nature of the trip. How much time will be spent riding a bus or other transportation? How much walking will be involved? How much of the time will be scheduled?
And Stoller suggests asking about “the negatives,” like long or frequent flights, polluted air, alien cuisine.
Here is a sampling of a few tour operators to consider:
– AdventureWomen, based in Bozeman, Mont., targets women 30 and older and organizes outdoor adventure trips built around hiking, rafting, skiing and horseback riding. The trips number about 24 a year and are about evenly divided between domestic and overseas destinations. Group size ranges from 10 to 30. Trip length varies from 5 to 18 days and prices from $1,500 to $6,700. Call 800-804-8686 (www.adventurewomen.com).
– Wild Women Adventures, based in Sebastopol, Calif., plans 20 to 25 trips in 1999 to destinations in Europe, Mexico, Asia, Africa and New York. The trips are mostly focused on culture. Group size generally ranges between 10 and 16. Trips usually run between one and two weeks with prices varying between about $1,200 (excluding air fare) and $5,500 (including air fare). Call 800-992-1322 (www.wildwomenadv.com).
– WomanTours is for bikers only. It organizes bicycle trips mostly through the western United States with a growing number of trips in the East and one each February to New Zealand. There will be 28 trips in 1999. Most of the excursions are six to eight days, although one cross-country journey goes on for 60 days. Prices vary from $850 to $1,200 and include lodging, most meals, van support and tour leaders. Call 800-247-1444 (www.womantours.com).
– The Women’s Travel Club leads overseas trips that usually run from one to two weeks and domestic trips that usually are three to five days long. There are about 25 trips yearly. Group size usually ranges from 12 to 25 and prices from $325 to $4,000. Not all prices include air fare. Call 800-480-4448 (www.womenstravelclub.com).
