All right! A shot at a 5-11 season and a middle-of-the-first-round draft pick! Do you think we can trade it for Rick Mirer again?
BEARLY RECOGNIZABLE
Curtis Conway made big plays. John Thierry had an interception. Steve Stenstrom found open receivers.
Boy, just imagine if these guys had been with the Bears all year.
ANYBODY HOME?
Fans are so hungry for NBA basketball that nearly half the seats in the Atlantic City Convention Center were empty for Saturday’s charity game.
The NBA: Nobody’s Bothering Anymore.
JAZZ STINGER
The suddenly verbose Karl Malone thinks a deal could be struck to settle the lockout by next weekend.
“I don’t care if it’s 40 or 50 games,” said the Mailman. “You all can call it a shortened season, but I still want a championship. And to me, a championship is a championship.”
No, Karl, to you a championship is something the other team celebrates on your home court.
RING IT UP
International Olympic Committee President Juan Antonio Samaranch said the allegations of bribes by prospective host cities were only a “semi-surprise” to him.
Now he wants to reform the selection process.
“We are not happy with the way of selecting organizing cities for the games,” said Samaranch.
In other words, in order to avoid this kind of mess in the future, all bribes should now be mailed directly to Samaranch.
OOPS, BABE
If you’ve got the latest Sports Illustrated–the one with the toga-clad Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa on the cover–peek inside and check out the ad from Major League Baseball thanking the two sluggers for a great season.
The same people who didn’t think it was important enough to be on hand for Sosa’s 62nd home run also apparently didn’t think it was important enough to check their ad carefully. If they had, they mig-ht have noticed that Sammy is swinging left-handed with a backward “C” on his cap while a right-handed Mark Grace waits behind him in the on-deck circle.
An unintentional slip-up, we’re sure, but we bet they wouldn’t have made the same mistake on a McGwire photo.
