Tracy Gary, 47, remembers her parents sitting her down at age 14 and telling her about the immense wealth that she would inherit on her 21st birthday.
The $2 million bequeathed more than 33 years ago came from the family of Gary’s mother, Patricia DeBary, distant relatives to the Pillsburys, and from her stepfather, Theodore Gary, part of a wealthy Chicago family that had ties to GTE. Her father, David DuVivier, was an affluent international lawyer who moved to Paris after her parents’ divorce. Her stepfather adopted her.
But her parents had another, stronger message: Volunteer work is critical. Her parents expected her to spend at least 10 hours a week each summer doing something meaningful.
“My stepfather’s grandfather had invented the dial telephone and had written a book with a chapter on service. He explained what an enormous privilege money is and that it must be shared by doing good,” Gary said from her home in Ross, Calif.
Thirty-three years later, Gary has more than carried on her family’s legacy, modifying it with her belief in the importance of social change, primarily to benefit women.
She has started two organizations that teach women how to gain control over theIr finances and make smart investments that also improve women’s plight. She has also co-authored with fellow philanthropist Melissa Kohner “Inspired Philanthropy: Creating a Giving Plan, a Workbook” (Chardon, $20), which describes how to make contributions meaningful.
Learning to share became a joyful process that transformed Gary’s life.
“There’s a wonderful sense of connecting that comes when you reach out versus when you stay home and watch TV or go to a mall. The average person spends 20 hours each week on their computer or in front of TV, but only talks to their partner about something other than logistics for less than 45 minutes a week,” she said.
“Eight out of 10 people with estates over $1 million leave nothing to non-profits, and while personal incomes have increased 10, 20, even 30 percent, philanthropic giving has declined to 1.6 percent of personal annual income over the last 30 years.”
Even those with little to give have managed better than most of us. People who live on Indian reservations or in inner cities give 4.3 percent of their income.
“When you’re living in a poor community or at jeopardy you’re reminded every day of the conditions of poverty,” Gary said.
In her book, Gary encourages everyone to make a difference, even in a small way.
“You don’t have to give to every charity that comes your way, what I term intuitive giving. But you can set those envelopes aside and give to those you believe in, what I call thoughtful giving.”
“People don’t understand how wealthy most of us are, particularly by global standards,” she said. “If you have a household income of $125,000 and assets of $500,000, you’re in the top 5 percent of everyone in this country.”
Gary knew from an early age that her family was not just rich, but very rich. She grew up living in five houses. The family had a yellow Rolls-Royce, helicopter, airplane, limousines and large staff who were among her closest confidants.
She attended the chic Miss Porter’s boarding school in Farmington, Conn., which the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis attended. She went to Sarah Lawrence, a small expensive liberal arts college in Bronxville, N.Y.
When she received the inheritance letter on her 21st birthday, she was stunned. She held stock in businesses whose activities she had protested during the Vietnam War.
“I wrote a letter to the trust complaining and essentially got a letter back saying, `Don’t worry. We’ll take care of your investments.’ I found it patronizing and was determined to divest and reinvest my own way.”
She made her first investment of $100,000 in Celestial Seasonings Teas. In six years, the investment grew to $500,000. Though pleased with the increase in value, she was more delighted to do so well with a socially responsible company.
After graduating from college with a major in mythology, she moved to San Francisco. She looked for a way to combine her social activism, philanthropy and interest in money management, but she could find no organizations that blended those three concerns.
She began to attend meetings of charitable groups but was dismayed to find that men dominated the conversations about finance while women sat silent.
with him. It was a new foundation that brought together people who had inherited money and were grassroots activists. Although there were many female donors at the meetings that addressed allocations of money and grants, men always dominated, which astounded me.”
To rectify the situation, she founded the non-profit Resourceful Women in 1983 to teach women about money. She sought women with a discretionary income of at least $25,000. Today the group has 300 members and a paid staff of seven. Out of it grew a more affluent female donor base in six cities known as the Women Donors Network, which has 90 members who average $100,000 a year in contributions.
Another of her efforts, the Women’s Funding Network, consists of 100 community foundations that fund projects to support women such as the Chicago Foundation for Women.
One of the best results of the increase in female-funded organizations, which also focused on women and their causes, Gary said, was that more women started talking about money.
“Women who had started working had been taught never to talk about their salaries. Many also felt ashamed that they knew so little about money, investing and managing their own personal funds. But by coming into contact with more women in these organizations, they learned it was OK and even healthy to discuss inheritances and investments, and they learned to manage the money better.
“Women realized it didn’t have to be so hush-hush.”
Through her work and contact with a larger circle of women, Gary said, she learned that many women don’t give because they feel insecure.
“Most people have not done any financial planning, so they don’t realize how fortunate they are. At the same time they’ve heard statistics and are afraid. Women typically live seven years longer than men, and if divorced may lose half their assets. They’re also part of the sandwich generation and feel an added responsibility toward parents and children,” she said.
Almost every aspect of Gary’s life reflects her passion.
“I’m very evangelical,” she said.
She divides her time between volunteerism with non-profits to make them more effective, public speaking and workshops to develop leaders, advising family foundations and individuals to create giving plans and raising money for select organizations. Come summer she runs a camp to teach kids volunteer skills, as her family taught her.
Gary lives in a “little house” a half hour from the Golden Gate Bridge and likes to bicycle, scuba dive and kayak. She takes a yearly retreat by herself to set goals.
And though she is disappointed in philanthropic statistics, she is optimistic a change is occurring.
“When I started there were 300,000 non-profits. Now there are 1.2 million. I believe we’ve witnessed a spiritual crisis, but an increase in community activism proves we know that democracy is not just about individual freedom but helping others. Volunteerism and inspired giving are the remedies that will heal America.”
