Attitude,” Terry Brown says, between coffee refill rounds, when asked what bothers her most about customers. “People think they’re better than you, talk to you like you’re nothing.”
As a six-year restaurant veteran, Brown says she can tell the difference between someone who politely requests extra attention, and someone on a power trip.
“People can be really smug, acting like `You’re just a waitress.’ But they want to test you, get you running back and forth for extra this or that, hoping to see if you’ll lose your cool. It makes me want to drop the coffee in their lap.”
Her method of dealing with snobs is a study in diplomacy; she simply rushes the meal along as quickly as possible. “The sooner they’re done, the sooner they’re gone,” she says, before heading back to the tables at Mitchell’s at Clark and North.
Not all the friction is the customer’s fault; many servers are downright surly. But restaurant staffs are often taken for granted, and their view of the dining experience is frequently ignored.
For this story, we interviewed several Chicago waiters and waitresses, who revealed that diners are guilty of some remarkable lapses in common courtesy. Overall, the servers said they always take the behavioral high ground. None, each promised, has ever mistreated a customer’s food, or, despite temptation, tipped a glass of red wine in anyone’s lap. The most severe response proved to be bringing someone regular coffee when they asked for decaf.
While speeding up the service is Brown’s solution for dealing with arrogant customers, slowness works at Gino’s East at least for Montrose Hughes. To keep a tight leash on demanding deep-dish fans, he plays the waiting game, purposely stretching intervals between when he gets a request, and its fulfillment.
“I’ll take my time bringing a check, coming back with change, wrapping the leftovers of course that’s only if you’ve worked me over,” says Hughes.
“Most folks are straight up and easy going,” he began, “but if I tell you a pizza takes 45 minutes, why do you keep asking me how much longer it’s going to take?”
That absent-minded question aside, Hughes’ cool really gets tested when customers show an open disregard for his attention to others.
“People can see that you are busy, that the restaurant is going full tilt, and they come right up to you while you’re taking another person’s order to interrupt you with a question or an addition to their order. It’s amazing how inconsiderate people can be.”
His incredulity doesn’t end there.
“There are groups who say they are ready to order, then take 10 minutes reviewing the menu while you stand there waiting, drawing impatient eyes from other tables.”
As a final vent, Hughes delivers the customer chorus he most loathes: “We’re in a hurry!”
“If you want fast food,” he says, “please go to Popeye’s or Subway. I’m here to serve you good pizza, but it takes as long as it takes.”
Impatience is a sore spot for other servers as well, particularly at restaurants where elaborate dishes are cooked to order.
Vanessa Reese, 28, works at Spruce, an upscale restaurant just off the Magnificent Mile. Her wine and food knowledge are continuously put to the test, as is, occasionally, her even-tempered demeanor.
“People who expect food to be cooked in a minute are missing the point,” she says, explaining that haste is detrimental to fine dining. In response, Reese has developed a knack for mollifying the urgent eater, so a customer’s need for speed is not her standout gripe.
“My biggest complaint is pretension. The food channel and Martha Stewart have made people think they know a lot about cuisine, but they’ve really only created people who enter the restaurant with ludicrous expectations,” she says.
As an example, Reese, who has been waitressing for four years, relays the story of a patron for whom everything was wrong from the moment she sat down. She apparently took it upon herself to see just how flexible the tolerance of the restaurant staff was, dismissing recommendations, skeptically dissecting ingredients and even going so far as to insist on San Pelligrino ice cubes for her sparkling water.
“Some people don’t realize that you as a server are not their manservant.”
Taking a page from Hughes’ book, Reese might prolong her returns to a table, letting people steep in their dissatisfaction for a few more minutes before getting them the check.
Diners who recognize that the server is generally a food expert, and not just a plate jockey, stand the best chance of enjoying their meal. “Trust your server,” Reese says. “Most of us have tried everything on the menu and will give you an honest opinion on what is better. Ask for a comparison between a couple of dishes if you’re undecided.”
That approach, she adds, earns diners’ trust.
Once a server has that, the meal is likely to go well, even in the wake of a forgotten fork or empty water glass.
“Just treat us with respect and you’ll get the best possible service,” recommends Kelley Evans, a server at Jillian’s Bistro in Lakeview. “If you’re pleasant, people will enjoy waiting on you.”
If finicky diners are a headache, diners who drag servers into the midst of their quarrels are a horror story.
“My favorite is when couples decide to fight at dinner and put you in the middle of it,” says Evans, 24. “There’s no eye contact from anyone and this uncomfortable silence the whole meal.”
The most memorable time for Evans was when a woman came into the restaurant before her reservation and told the staff that she was going to break up with her boyfriend over dinner. “It was really terrible. I knew this guy was getting dumped, and I had to watch him suffer the entire meal.”
At the TGIFriday’s on Erie in Streeterville, the pace is much faster.
“People just like your attention,” says 17-year veteran bartender and server Tommy Hansen, 34. “It’s not for a particular reason. They just don’t want to share you, so they’ll run you back and forth, or want something done extra quick, enjoying having someone at their beck and call.
“One of my favorite situations is when I know a table is watching me. They can see that I’m busy and am in the weeds (backed up with several orders to get out). So when I do get to the table, I thank them for their patience, then I’ll take the whole order and go get their drinks.”
When he returns, beverages in hand, Hansen asks again if the table is ready to order, pretending he missed it the first time. “That usually breaks the ice with a laugh. Still, some of the hard-core tables don’t get it, they just don’t want to be on your side.”
Finally, all waiters and waitresses dread the “oral gratuity.” This occurs when a customer stops before leaving to tell a server what a good job they did.
“Nine out of 10 times,” says one server who wished to remain anonymous. “It means a bad tip.”
SERVERS’ STRATEGIES FOR GETTING GENEROUS TIPS
1. The friendly approach. Most servers are adept at the polite introduction, whether it’s a “How y’all doin’?” or “Good evening madam.” While a few grouchy diners find the overture overbearing, most appreciate the pleasantry. When the meal is over, again depending on the establishment, a customer might get a bill with the word Thanks! underlined and followed by a smiley face. Corny it may seem, but it puts folks at ease, creates familiarity, and — as most servers attest — loosens up the purse strings.
2. Checking back. Diners appreciate acknowledgment, even if it’s just to top off a water glass. After taking the order, returning with coffee, soft drinks or wine, many waiters stop back to let a table know the kitchen’s status. Once the food is down, he or she will return to make sure everything is satisfactory. Sure, everyone expects that his coffee cup be kept full without having to flag someone down, but some servers know the rhythm of a meal so well that they get to a table the instant before a customer formulates the next request.
3. Investigative waiting. Tip-building strategies aside, waiters and waitresses bemoan the fact that most customers already know what they will tip before they even enter a restaurant. The service could be world-class, or worse than ever, but it’s 15 percent take it or leave it. To combat that complacency, many bend over backward to help customers determine what they want to eat. It’s not very effective with the ham-and-eggs crowd; their minds are made up. At certain places, however, the waiter’s or waitress’ expert food knowledge will steer a diner to a much more enjoyable meal. This works for fine dining as well as for deep-dish pizza (Montrose Hughes recommends the special spinach, garlic and red-pepper).
4. Getting the bill down. This is an area of conflicting philosophy. One school says to wait for a table to ask for its bill before bringing it. Another maintains that once one knows the meal is over, pull that check from the apron and put it down fast. Furthermore, if a party pays with a credit card, get it back to the table pronto. Still, some people like to linger over their coffee. Others want to be on the street before the mints are unwrapped. The impact on the tip? The experts agree it takes a trained eye to judge a table’s disposition. If they’re in high gear, bring the bill with dessert. If they’re taking their time, wait until they ask.
SOME TIPS FOR WAITS MANAGEMENT
Based on interviews with restaurant servers, here are the tips for customers to get the best service.
1. Be prepared. When a server asks if you are ready to order, there is no crime in asking for a few extra minutes if you need them. He or she appreciates the honesty because the time can be used to serve other patrons. Don’t fear having questions or special orders.
2. Be polite. Eight hours standing can test anyone’s civility; an easy-going disposition will almost immediately put a server on your side. Nobody expects a server and a customer to strike up a chummy conversation, but common, professional courtesy will surely keep the flies out of the soup.
3. Be patient. Especially on weekends, restaurants can become madhouses. If the kitchen gets behind, the food will not fly out at McMach speed. To the same point, don’t tolerate a restaurant that tries to rush you out once the food is down.
4. Be prodigious. Nothing is more terrifying or disheartening to a server than seeing a patron pull out a pocket tip-guide. They tend to reflect percentages from 20 years ago. Today, the acknowledged minimum (by servers and refined diners alike) is 15 percent. Twenty percent is the general award for satisfactory service. Anything above that acknowledges superior treatment. Servers have excellent memories, and return trips can be made better or worse depending on the deep-pocket legacy. Even after the check is paid, getting that final cup of coffee or plate of petits fours just might depend on the gratuity.
