Al Capone’s underworld reign in the 1920s forever earned Chicago a legacy as a tough town.
Long after Scarface’s demise and even in the aftermath of Michael Jordan’s basketball supremacy, “mayhem” holds on as the city’s definitive image to foreigners, even many to suburbanites. (Chicagoan: “I’m from Chicago.” Local foreigner: “Rat-a-tat-tat!”)
Gangland slayings are frowned upon in civilized society. But in some ruthless modern entertainments here, it’s still acceptable — encouraged — for a law-abiding citizen to get “whacked.”
Wild pursuits such as laser tag, virtual reality, paintball and, yes, dinner theater are welcome and less messy alternatives to filling people full of lead or making them swim wit’ da fishes.
Battletech: Virtual thrills
If Capone were to wander into Battletech at Dave & Buster’s, 1030 N. Clark St. (312-943-5151), he’d be one lost interdimensional traveler.
The game’s eight “translocation pods,” in which combatants man 30-foot virtual robots, are nothing like the speakeasies Capone controlled in the ’20s. The pods have nearly as many dials, screens and controls as a lunar module.
Fortunately, beginners focus only on the screen right before their eyes, which scans the battlefield for enemy robots trying to knock your block off. The best players can make adjustments on the fly not only by sight, but by the sounds made by their robot, or Mechwarrior.
After a pre-flight briefing from the head technician (code name: “The Man”) players load into individual pods, close the door and prepare to blast their competitors into nothingness.
Using a joystick, the object is clear: Register as many kills as possible in seven minutes.
When it’s over, a videocassette recorder that taped the battle will replay the action, accompanied by a printout of how your “mission” fared.
Battletech can attract 450-500 players on weekends, so the tab in Dave & Buster’s “credits” is more steep on Friday and Saturday, around $8 per player. But before 5 p.m. from Monday to Thursday, it costs about $3.75 in credits and around $6 thereafter.
On Wednesdays, a slightly different game is played from 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Red Planet uses speedy Hovercrafts instead of robots.
Sunday nights are usually lorded over by veteran Battletechers. Novices are welcome only if they want to learn — they’ll get whacked unmercifully, but come out of it more skilled.
Laser tag: It’s a hit
Stepping up the scale of games in which players “die” is laser battle. Played with guns on a fog-covered, black-lighted terrain, laser tag is a cross between “Gunfight at OK Corral” and a scene from “The Phantom Menace.”
At Lazer Zone, players scurry throughout 5,000-square-foot, multi-level environments filled with bridges, towers, windows, ramps and hidden passageways in an effort to “deactivate” each other.
Would-be Star Warriors wear headgear with target sensors and attempt to whack each other. Points are registered for each hit. A hit renders your opponent harmless for 5-10 seconds.
Games, including a version of “capture the flag,” last 30 minutes, including a 10-minute briefing. Cost is $5-$6 per person.
Lazer Zone is an alcohol- and smoke-free establishment that attracts church groups, birthday parties and corporate team-building sessions as well as typical thrill seekers.
There are five Lazer Zone facilities in Chicagoland: Mount Prospect, Glenview, Rolling Meadows, Roselle and Darien. Call 847-364-5038 for information on each.
Laser tag: Another shot
Another laser tag facility is in the Enchanted Castle, 1103 S. Main St. in Lombard (630-953-7860), though it calls the game “Q-ZAR.”
Players — up to 34 in two teams of 17 — scramble across 3,000 square feet of darkened war zone, navigating mazes and barriers in order to zap an enemy or hit the Megatarget, which establishes points for the team or player. Two headquarters, green and red, are on opposite sides of the battleground.
Costs for a 15-minute game of Q-ZAR (with the 5- to 10-minute briefing and post-game “scorecard”) are $5 weekdays and $6 on weekends; it’s open until midnight Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday through Thursday.
Probably the best laser tag tip is to wear dark, preferably black, clothes. Light coloring under black lights equals a brilliant neon target.
Paintball: A real blast
The most vicious, exhilarating game around is paintball. The reason is simple. It’s real.
Paintballs and paintball guns are illegal on the streets of Chicago. But they’re not illegal in the eerie, 18,000-square-foot war zone that is the Chicago Paintball Factory, 1001 W. Van Buren St. (312-563-1777).
At least, it’s not illegal if a player is age 13 or over; players under 18 need the Factory’s consent form signed by a parent or guardian — and notarized.
Paintball is a real rush. A couple of hours of combat provide a week’s worth of adrenaline and three hours of welts.
After distribution of gear — face shield, vest, pump-style rifle and ammo, with upgrades available for everything from a semiautomatic weapon with sight and extra paintballs ($4.95 for rounds of 45) to athletic cups — and a briefing on rules, two teams of up to 20 spread out.
Games include “capture the flag” (a cone defended by each team) and “hostage” (one big cone to be discovered and fought over). The final battle is called “elimination,” a last-man-standing fight of cunning and savagery.
Apocalyptic music buzzing in the background, paintball is about as close to actual war as a rational human would desire. In near-dark (wear dark clothing for camouflage) and swathed in fog, you pick your way around the cement floor of the L-shaped course, strewn with plywood boxes, truck tires, barrels, concrete girders and walls, even a couple of trashed cars — all covered in the greasy residue of splattered paint balls past.
You’re supposed to search for the cone and work as a team. Actually, you’re out for blood while protecting your own. When you’re hit, you walk off to the neutral zone with raised hands signifying the walking dead. You catch a breath and return to battle.
Head shots and shots within 15 feet of a person are not allowed, and when enemy is quarried in close range they yell “surrender” and walk off, arms raised. But when someone wearing the opposite-colored vest turns the corner, instinct takes over.
Starting costs are $18 per person for a one-hour session, $26 for two hours and $33 for three hours. Optional equipment increases the price; it’s easy to go through 180 paintballs in two hours.
Reservations four to five days in advance are suggested, and are required at least 24 hours in advance. Friday and Saturday are the busiest days; the facility is open noon-10 p.m. daily.
Outdoor paintball: The killing field
If the darkened Chicago Paintball Factory is like nighttime Belgrade, Paint Pursuit Games (773-735-3344) must be like America during the Civil War.
Held outdoors on a 35-acre field about eight miles west of Joliet, this game of “capture the flag” is played on wooded land. Included among the natural and man-made hazards and hiding places are bunkers, towers, bridges and a village.
Paint Pursuit, also a team event, offers 12 flag stations and incorporates a variety of short, intermediate and long distances. Groups of between 20-44 combatants are preferred; small groups and individuals are welcome, but must call ahead for reservations.
The cost of four hours of Paint Pursuit is $20 and includes rental of an air rifle, protective headgear and 20 paint pellets. Extra pellets cost $7 per 100. Over the four hours, players can use up to 400 paintballs, depending on the sophistication of their weaponry — and how trigger-happy they are.
WhirlyBall: Road rage lite
Speed kills. So it’s a good thing that the bumper cars at WhirlyBall, 1880 W. Fullerton Ave., Chicago, and 800 E. Roosevelt Rd. in west suburban Lombard (800-894-4759), cannot reach warp drive.
WhirlyBall is a combination of basketball, hockey, lacrosse and road rage.
Stan Mangum, a Utah inventor, was watching his son and some pals play hockey while in golf carts. From there a sport, and business, using low-voltage bumper cars was born.
Played five to a side on a rectangular, 4,000-square-foot court, players attempt to score by using an open, lacrosse-style scoop to whip an over-sized whiffle ball into a target on a basketball backboard.
Ball control is key, and a sweat can be raised, though the cars do much of the work.
It’s not so violent that women or children are excluded. Families, as well as corporate and private parties, are regulars. A referee makes sure that things don’t get out of hand.
Still, WhirlyBall is a contact sport — at least between the vehicles — and there’s more jostling for loose balls than a rebounding battle between Alonzo Mourning and Shaquille O’Neal.
Court rental is $150 an hour before 5 p.m. from Monday through Thursday and $170 an hour thereafter; rental is $190 Friday through Sunday, plus holidays. Figure on a 15 percent gratuity, too.
When a court is not booked, walk-ins may play (though at least eight people are desired) for $10 per person for a half-hour.
Dinner theater: Grief on the menu
Despite the city’s efforts to remedy Al Capone’s influence, there remains one place to obtain a good, old-fashioned whacking. Or, at least, a roughing up by the boys.
Tommy Gun’s Garage, 1239 S. State St. (312-461-0102), is a dinner theater that offers a three-hour Roaring ’20s musical-comedy revue with gangsters and flappers who also happen to be the wise-cracking waitstaff.
“You’re gonna get some grief,” promises co-owner Sandy Mangen.
Also, customers can request that one of their party be taken out back during dinner and “beaten up.” They don’t kill nobody.
Costs are between $38-$45 per person depending on the night. Shows are generally held Thursday through Sunday, though groups of up to 150 people with advance reservation can enjoy them any day of the week.
