Some people are born lucky. The rest of us only wish we were.
“Sometimes I do believe I’m a lucky person, and I think, why is that?” says Nefertiti Stewart, owner of Truth Bookstore in Southfield, Mich., outside Detroit. “But I am lucky, because I have this store.”
The African-American gift shop fell into Stewart’s lap five years ago when the owner suddenly wanted to sell. She works 12 hours a day, six days a week, but she’s living her dream.
And when bad times strike?
Stewart looks baffled momentarily. “Bad things really haven’t happened to me,” she says. “I would really have to sit down and think of anything bad that happened to me.” Then she laughs, embarrassed, a sort of “hee, hee” giggle that lights up the room, a laugh that can show bad luck the door and makes good luck feel right at home.
Do you know somebody who seems to be living a charmed life? You know the type — bluebird on his shoulder, sun always shining, sailing through life, fortunate, blessed every day. And, oh, everybody likes him too.
Well, guess what? Good luck has nothing to do with $197 million lotteries or magic charms. It has to do with your behavior. One man who has analyzed the secrets of lucky people is convinced that if you change your behavior, you can improve your luck.
“My argument is, lucky people have done a phenomenal job of making us think they are lucky. I guarantee that, if you break down that person’s personality, you’ll see some very specific things they do to cultivate that image,” says Marc Myers, author of “How to Make Luck: Seven Secrets Lucky People Use to Succeed” (Renaissance Books, $14.95). “All lucky people have two things in common.”
First, they are constantly thinking up creative ways to improve the odds that more in life will go their way. Second, when they get what they want, they act as baffled as others are by their good fortune.
According to Myers, anybody can be luckier in life than they are now if they take certain steps. Maybe even as lucky as Grant Kurtz.
Kurtz has just been named CEO of Advest Group Inc., a financial services company in Hartford, Conn. But what really excites him is the fact that his first grandson was born — and the boy’s parents named him Grant.
“I’m walking on air,” says Kurtz, 57, who even in high school was voted most enthusiastic. His brother, Harry, says it’s not an act.
“I can’t imagine anyone who fits the image of lucky better than my brother. He’s real positive, with no arrogance at all. He’s literally the smartest person I know; he knows how to get people to work for him, and he hasn’t had too much bad stuff happen to him,” Harry says.
Their father died when Grant was 15, something that derails many a youth. Why not him?
“I don’t know why that is, but everyone in our family has had a wonderful life,” Grant Kurtz says. “I can’t tell you why, and I don’t know that I necessarily consider myself luckier than anyone else. I’ve never even won the lottery. But I am resilient.”
According to Myers, people like Kurtz and Stewart are textbook examples of truly lucky people — the ones who don’t leave luck to chance but who make life look easy.
“Luck loves lucky people. The luckier your image, the luckier you are going to be,” Myers says. “A lot of people confuse luck with chance. Chance is the unexpected, random things in life that you can’t control or can’t predict, like the weather or the lottery. Luck is what you do or say in response to what happens to you,” he says.
Some people are naturally charming, enthusiastic and good at saying or doing things that will bring luck their way. Others seem to have a tin ear for luck, repeatedly doing things that invite bad fortune to keep them company through life.
But you can learn to be luckier. That’s Myers’ point.
“You do not have to be beautiful to be lucky, but you have to be really smart at being irresistible. You have to have the personality that causes other people to want you to have what you want. I’m not asking anyone to change themselves. Just do any one of these things just a little bit, and you will be luckier.”
Look around, and you’ll see the masters of the lucky life. Former President Ronald Reagan had that quality, Myers says. So does President Bill Clinton, NBC “Today Show” host Matt Lauer, actress Drew Barrymore, Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa, and probably a lot of charming people you know.
Lucky people are not immune to bad news. Fathers die. Jobs end. Love leaves. But lucky people, Myers found, have a mysterious way of spinning straw into gold. They don’t just make lemonade from lemons; they grow a grove of lemon trees.
Many otherwise high-tech Americans still knock on wood when they talk about good fortune so lurking evil spirits cannot hear.
“Not talking about good luck is far more related to superstition, folklore and placating evil spirits than it is to religion,” says Rev. Jack Ziegler, pastor of the Grosse Pointe Woods Presbyterian Church. “I’m not aware of anything in religion, at least the Christian religion, that precludes talking about good things.”
What worries him more is the concept of manipulating others into making them give you what you want.
“I think we are happiest, healthiest and luckiest when we are ourselves. When we try to superimpose some kind of phony-baloney, we don’t wear that well,” he says. “If your intention in interacting with others is manipulative, that is questionable ethically and morally.”
Yet the qualities that naturally lucky people share aren’t phony-baloney. They’re more like the Golden Rule. Treat others well. Don’t hold grudges or waste time on envy. Make things look easy, but work hard. Be kind. Shake off adversity. Appreciate what you’ve got. Ask lucky people their secret, and it’s really no secret at all.
“I think a lucky person is more likely to look at a situation and anticipate what is going to come up, and then think, `Good things are going to happen,’ ” says Mike Helmer, 46, corporate development director of Henry Ford Health System and president of the Van Patrick Foundation. His friends describe him as lucky. He describes himself as “proactive.”
Stewart says that all her life, good things have happened to her. Press her, and she reluctantly admits that people say she is kind, and that she was always a teacher’s favorite, and that “people say I hide my problems with smile.”
One more thing. Lucky people are happy people. Are they happy because they’re lucky, or is it the other way around?
“Nefertiti has that happy personality, even when she’s sad,” says Stewart’s business partner Jelani Brown.
“I’m happy most of the time,” acknowledges Helmer.
That’s no surprise to David Myers (no relation to Marc Myers). The professor at Hope College is an authority on the study of happiness.
“Perceived luck is a manifestation of a happy mood,” he says, meaning that if you are happy, you think you are lucky. “Happiness is conducive to good outcomes.”
BOOSTING YOUR LUCK
Lucky people have certain traits in common, discovered author Marc Myers. Here are 15 ways he found to boost good luck and quash bad luck:
– Believe you are lucky. “The more you believe that good things routinely come your way, the luckier you behave.”
– Develop a reputation as a lucky person. “The luckier you seem, the more people will want to help and protect you.”
– Make life look easy. “When you can take life’s hardest shots without flinching, you make life look easy. And when you (do that), people think you are lucky.”
– Avoid cockiness; don’t be a jerk. “If you can make people feel comfortable with your success, you will improve your odds of being thought of as lucky.”
– Seem bewildered by good fortune, even if you have been planning for it. “Modesty and privacy are the best fire walls between you and bad luck.”
– Cultivate charisma, even if you’re shy. “Charismatic people exude a spiritual and physical symmetry that makes it impossible not to be captivated or accommodating.”
– Control nervousness and self-doubt in public. “We respect people who seem completely at ease and impervious to mistakes, insults and failure.”
– Accept responsibility for mistakes. “Accepting responsibility for things that were under your control is always viewed as noble behavior.”
– Dress neatly. “Looking lucky is about neatness. When you’ve taken the time to look good, you’re showing respect for those around you.”
– Fight off feelings of envy. “Once you seem like a jealous person, you will no longer be thought of as lucky.”
– Be generous, without expecting anything in return. “When you expect repayment, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and limiting your luck. You have to give and then forget about it.”
– Think before you act. “Most people who encounter a disproportionately high amount of bad luck have one thing in common: They have a hard time controlling behavior that attracts trouble.”
– Remain in control of your temper. Be assertive, not hostile. “The angrier we are, the less good luck comes your way.”
– Bounce back from downturns. “An important difference between people who are lucky and people who aren’t is the amount of time it takes for them to get over disappointment.”
– Ride a lucky streak. “As more seemingly lucky things happen to you, the momentum of your good fortune will attract other people; most of your rivals and enemies will clear out of your way.”
— Ellen Creager
LUCK OR CHANCE?
Is it good luck, or do good things happen by chance?
1. An anvil falls from a skyscraper seconds after you walk past.
2. You spot a falling anvil, so you hurry past and are saved.
3. You win $197 million in the Big Game lottery.
4. You get a date with a supermodel because you are charming.
5. It rains on your wedding day.
6. You’re a passenger on a plane that crashes; everyone dies.
7. You ask your teacher for extra credit so you can pull your math grade up to an A. She agrees.
8. You notice that your employer is not financially secure, so you scout around for a new job. You get one the day your old firm goes bankrupt.
9. You are walking down the street when lightning strikes you.
Author Marc Myers says that chance is any random event beyond our control, such as the weather or the lottery. Luck is within our control because lucky people set the groundwork for good things to happen and take advantage of opportunities.
Answers: Luck: 2, 4, 7, 8. Chance: 1,3, 5, 6, 9.
— Knight-Ridder/Tribune.
