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We can work from home and take our daughters to the office. We can control our own media–Lifetime, Oxygen–and start our own Web sites. We can preside over a boardroom and speak freely about what we want from a relationship. We can surf both on-line and off. We can retreat to ashrams or communicate with the world. We can be urban organic or take our laptops to the farthest reaches of civilization. We can live longer, look younger and earn more money than ever. No wonder fashion is full of contradictions, hard-edged yet soft and frilly at the same time.

There may be no better symbol of the new emancipated and empowered female than Carrie in HBO’s hit series “Sex and the City.” Played by Sarah Jessica Parker, Carrie’s smart, sexy, spirited and single. And she’s always wearing the latest looks, from the Fendi baguette to strappy mules to ruffled slit skirts.

Carrie has no doubt been on the mind of many a designer this spring. Utility and unisex are out. Flaunting femininity, whether subtly or brazenly, is in. It’s what trend analyst David Wolfe of New York’s Doneger Group calls the “equilibrium effect.”

“Things got so minimal and drab during the ’90s, there had to be a backlash,” he says. “Women want to have fun with fashion again. They want clothes that are pretty and flattering. And they also want to dress up like women. The junior market is still hot, but it’s not the only option. Grown-up is what it’s about.”

All those flirty peasant blouses were fine for last year, but this spring a harder-edged seductiveness is in the air. Dangerous curves are contrasted with innocent ruffles and frills. Legs are long and alluring in spiky heels and fishnet stockings. Eyes are smoky and lips beckon with a deep gloss.

“We’ve fought hard for equality, independence and power,” says Marilyn Blaska of Chicago boutique Blake. “Now we want some fun and intrigue back in the picture. We’ve gained a lot, but we’ve also lost some of the levity of being a woman.”

Levity is one way of characterizing this season. It’s glamorous yet funky. It’s sophisticated without being uptight. Snakeskin, zebra and crocodile are the hot hides. Floral patterns are lush and definitely from Venus. Prints are geometric and dizzying, teasing as well.

“We’re seeing a spectrum that incorporates all aspects of femininity,” says Blaska. “It’s about wanting to express a femininity but staying strong at the same time.”

How you put it all together is as crucial as the items you choose to wear.

“No one wants to be told what to wear anymore. We don’t want to look like everyone else. It’s about making individual statements and breaking rules,” says Gregg Andrews, a fashion director at Nordstrom.

Whether you’re as innocent as Little Bo Peep or as vampy as Cher, you’ll find a trench coat is a perfect cover. You can wear it belted like a bathrobe, prompting everyone to wonder what it’s concealing. You can layer it over a skimpy sheer top and wear it to the office. And for spring, designers have spun it out of everything from denim to python to logo-clustered print.

This below-the-belt sexy is one of the reasons everyone from Gucci to Prada to Helmut Lang has been trotting out slinky, strappy sandals and mules, some adorned with feathers, others with seashells.

“So much of the ’90s were preoccupied with bustlines,” says Andrews. “Now designers are turning their eye to the lower half of the body with pants and skirts slung low on the hip, skirts slit up the side, attention-getting hosiery and heels.”

As for that bustline, it is sitting pretty under the classic Yves Saint Laurent silhouette–the sexy, billowing blouson with dangling scarf. Pair it with razor-sharp trousers (Don’t forget your stilettos!) and you’re on the money.

Hey, if you don’t want to wear the pants, that’s OK too.

“I think these fashions are giving us a certain reprieve from being Superwoman,” says Blaska. “From being the one who does it all. It allows us to enjoy who we really are. It relieves some of that pressure.”

It allows us to be more like, well, Carrie.