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If it seems weird that Chicago will host both of its St. Patrick’s Day parades this weekend, almost a week before the actual holiday, you can blame it on a wee bit of tradition and a wee bit of city policy. The practice isn’t new for the South Side Irish Parade, which has been held the Sunday before St. Patrick’s Day since it began 22 years ago. But it is a little odd for the downtown St. Pat’s celebration, which, in 1995, was moved from Fridays to Saturdays by the city to cut down on weekday traffic congestion and to make the parade more family-friendly. In 1995, when, like this year, the actual holiday fell on a Friday, the parade was held the next day. But some charged that they weren’t able to keep up the St. Pat’s spirit for an extra day. “I think some people felt like it was kind of anti-climactic to have it afterward,” says downtown parade spokesman Bill King. So from 1996 on, the downtown parade has been held on the Saturday before March 17, making this year’s the furthest the parade will ever be held from the actual holiday. Times: downtown parade, noon on Saturday, starts at Wacker Drive and Dearborn Street; South Side parade, noon on Sunday, starts at 103rd Street and Western Avenue.

— Monica Eng

RATING THE RATINGS

LAS VEGAS-MPAA president Jack Valenti stuck to his guns when reporters at the ShoWest convention grilled him about recent calls to make the NC-17 rating less harmful to edgy adult movies, like “Eyes Wide Shut.” He said the association only would consider adding an “A” designation if “some corporate entity would indemnify the MPAA against lawsuits” filed by parents whose children find a way to sneak in to see them. Valenti argued that the 32-year-old voluntary rating system remains overwhelmingly popular with parents, who soon will be able to go to www.filmratings.com to find out why a specific movie has gotten the rating it has.

— Gary Dretzka

ATTACK OF THE MOVIEGOING TEENS

LAS VEGAS-According to John Fithian, president of the National Association of Theater Owners, there are 3,000 more screens in operation today than there were at this time last year, pushing the U.S. total to 37,185. Overbuilding has caused many exhibitors to bleed red ink, but Fithian expects the construction surge to slow dramatically in the next couple of years. “The teen population is accelerating at twice the pace of the rest of us,” he says. Because teenagers are among the most avid moviegoers-86 percent say they go frequently or occasionally-exhibitors should see a profit turnaround long before 2010, “when the teen population will crest at 30.8 million.” Anyone for “More American Pie”?

— G.D.

A CONTRALTO WALKS INTO A BAR …

The Second City comedy troupe will pack its sense of humor for its first trip to the stage of the Civic Opera House, where its wit will skewer Wagner, Puccini and Mozart. The reason? A Tuesday after-work cocktails-and-cabaret-event called Lounge Night at Lyric. It’s the second annual Lounge Night, hosted by the Lyric Opera’s Auxiliary Board and geared as an intro to opera for young professionals. A Second City spokeswoman tells the Tribune the troupe “plans to do a theme show that’s centered on a day in the life of a radio station.” Whether or not the Second City gang attempts to hit a few high notes remains to be seen. But the spokeswoman does say the troupe hopes to involve Lyric’s singers.

— Judy Hevrdejs

`KINGDOM’ FALLS

NBC’s “The 10th Kingdom” finally was put out of its misery on Monday, with ratings that were lower than anticipated for a mini-series that cost around $40 million to make. Producer Robert Halmi Sr.’s (“Gulliver’s Travels”) lavish fantasy about an alternate world where fairy tale characters were real beings averaged 11.5 million viewers during its 10-hour, five-night run. In contrast, ABC’s mini-series of the Beach Boys averaged 16.5 million viewers during its two nights last week. With such lackluster numbers, the question is if we ever see another “10th Kingdom”-like mini-series again.

— Allan Johnson

NEW GOODMAN OPENS WITH WILSON

Goodman Theatre has set August Wilson’s “King Hedley II” as the inaugural production of the 2000-01 season in its new downtown complex on North Dearborn Street, between Randolph and Lake streets. Wilson’s drama, set in 1985 in his native Pittsburgh, is the eighth in his series of plays on the African-American experience in each decade of the 20th Century. It is to have its Chicago premiere Dec. 11-Jan. 13, with previews starting Nov. 30, in the 830-seat Albert Ivar Goodman mainstage auditorium. Marion McClinton, who staged “Hedley’s” world premiere last December at the Pittsburgh Public Theater and its current engagement at the Seattle Repertory Theatre, will again direct.

— Richard Christiansen-