Q. I am 45 years old, and my husband is 68. For the past year he has lost interest in sex altogether. He is not impotent but says that, because of financial pressures, he is not interested. He is healthy, and he has assured me there is no one else. I have begged him to see a doctor, which he said he would do but has not, saying that as soon as his pressures lighten up, the mood will come back. He also told me that if I am not prepared to wait until things change, then I can leave and find somebody else.
A. It’s true that financial pressures could lower his libido, especially when combined with any changes that might be occurring as a result of his age. While a doctor might be able to help him, even Viagra doesn’t work if the man feels no desire, so the psychological pressures he’s under could continue to be a stumbling block. My advice to you is to try everything possible to save the marriage before doing anything rash. If you’ve been fighting about this, maybe it would be a good idea to steer clear of this topic for a month or so. Then perhaps you could suggest going to a marital therapist. If he won’t accompany you, I suggest you go alone.
