Dear Ann Landers: I’m writing about my 90-year-old mother. She’s not rich, but she is comfortable. However, I’m afraid if she keeps sending money to every scam artist who writes to her, she will end up flat broke. The dear woman has fallen for so many flaky schemes, I’m starting to question her mental competence.
Last week, Mom was in touch with a psychic who told her she would become a millionaire in a year if she followed his instructions. Of course, the first instruction was to send him $25, which she did. She hasn’t heard from him since.
Mom now gets letters on a daily basis for all kinds of foolproof, get-rich-quick schemes. The correspondence uses her first name, which convinces her the writer is a friend and has her best interests at heart. She does not realize that a computer can insert a name anywhere in a letter and make it look personal.
It worries me and makes me angry that someone is making a fortune off of her and other elderly people. If Mom doesn’t want to give her money to her children or to a worthy charity, that is her business, but frankly, I would rather see her play the lottery than give her money to crooks.
Maybe if you tell Mom the truth about these scams, she will listen to you. She will not listen to her children, and we don’t know how to talk to her without sounding like we are after her money. Please help us get through to her before additional damage is done.
Worried in Wyoming
Dear Wyoming: It is very difficult to change the mind of a 90-year-old. It does sound, however, as if your mother needs protection. Her family doctor should confer with a gerontologist, who knows how to deal with elderly people. This woman does need help, and it is up to you to see that she get it.
Dear Ann Landers: I have been in the financial services business for 20 years, and would like to suggest an alternative response to “Disappointed Parents,” who said they would rather leave their money to charity than will it to their greedy, inattentive children.
Those parents would be better advised to give away their excess funds now while they are living, rather than rely on their will to carry out their wishes. They would get the satisfaction of personally seeing their money help others; and besides, a will would probably be contested by the children.
Administering the will through probate and defending challenges is costly and would diminish the inheritance. I have seen this happen again and again, even with the most carefully crafted legal documents. Printing this letter in your column could be a tremendous favor to the old folks.
Financial Adviser in California
Dear Adviser: I am in total agreement with your philosophy. Give it away while you are alive, can enjoy the benefits of your generosity, and are able to keep an eye on what goes on. And be sure to put your will in the hands of a lawyer to make sure it is properly executed.
Dear Ann Landers: This is for that woman who complained about having to wait as long as an hour for her doctor, with whom she had an appointment. She should know that doctors are not like manicurists. They run into emergencies. I take needlework or reading material when I go for a doctor’s appointment, and she should too.
Edna in Rochester, Minn.
Dear Edna: Good advice. Thanks for sitting in my chair today. It never pays to sweat the small stuff.
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