A move ranks as one of life’s most stressful events. Uncertainty and a multitude of details can overwhelm even the youngest and strongest among us.
Imagine then, trying to cope with the emotional and physical stress of a move at age 85.
In many cases, the older person is dramatically downsizing, sometimes moving from a large house to a 650-square-foot, one-bedroom apartment in a retirement community. The senior, and his or her family, has to sort out what to keep and what to give away.
Questions arise about how much furniture might even fit in the new apartment. Family squabbles can erupt over who gets the stuff mom or dad doesn’t have room for.
Put this together with the realization that the move signals a major lifestyle change and you’ve got a sure-fire recipe for ragged emotions and frayed nerves all around.
“Closing the door on a house where you have lived for years is traumatic,” said Mary Jo Zeller, who runs a company that helps move seniors. “It takes a lot of hand holding to get through the process.”
Luckily for seniors and their families, more help is available these days for those moving into new communities.
Most retirement communities have what is called a move-in coordinator. This person usually manages the details of the move at the new apartment. But how much help you get from a move-in coordinator will vary.
Some communities offer almost every type of service related to a move, except perhaps hiring the movers. The coordinator will diagram your new furniture arrangement and connect you with charities to pick up the old things you don’t need. Some will even visit your old home to see what would make sense to bring to the new apartment.
For example, Parkside Senior Services LLC, Skokie, has two communities in the Chicago area, the Seasons at Glenview Place and Lake Barrington Woods, which opens in August. At Parkside communities, the move-in coordinator guides the senior through the relocation, according to Shelly Main, Parkside director of marketing.
“We have a check list to help them through the process,” Main said.
The coordinator provides a list of pre-screened movers.
Parkside also refers seniors to such services as estate sale operators and charities if the person has a large number of things that have to be sold or given away.
If a senior needs to sell a house, Parkside can also refer the person to a service that helps find them a good real estate agent.
The services provided by the move-in coordinator are usually free, although the senior will have to pay for any outside help he or she agrees to.
Sometimes, the help provided by the move-in coordinator of the building isn’t enough.
William Adelman, professor emeritus of the University of Illinois, agreed to help his former secretary, Evelyn Thomas, 79, move to the Oak Park Arms, a retirement community in the west suburb.
“She had a tremendous amount of clothes and furniture,” said Adelman. “But it was hard for her to part with things.”
Realizing the job was too much even for him, Adelman hired a Chicago company called Movin’ On, which specializes in helping seniors move. He said the company did a great job of sorting through the clothes, saving the outfits Evelyn could wear, selling the ones she couldn’t use.
Household items that couldn’t be sold were donated to a charity that was contacted by Movin’ On.
“We could not have made the move without the service,” said Adelman.
Judy Brandhorst, who runs Movin’ On along with her daughter Kelly O’Hara, said they handle all aspects of a move. This usually involves several days of sorting the things that have been accumulated over the years. Movin’ On also works with the new community, planning the furniture arrangement.
“One of the first things we do is draw up a floor plan for the new apartment. This determines what furniture we can take,” said Brandhorst. The firm also finds a mover, and schedules and supervises the move.
Deciding what to move can be a tough decision. Relocation specialists say an unbiased third party is often better equipped to sort things out than a daughter or son who might have become attached to certain objects or who just can’t deal with the loss of the family homestead.
Zeller, who runs a Palatine-based company called Family Moving Solutions along with her partner Gloria Bersani, says spending time alone with the senior can help determine what’s important to save. For example, one older woman insisted on keeping her dining room set, but it wouldn’t fit in the new apartment.
After spending some time talking with the woman, Zeller discovered that the woman really wanted to keep her collectibles which were on display in the dining room hutch. The hutch easily fit into the new apartment and the woman was happy.
“It made the move less upsetting,” said Zeller, whose firm connects seniors to various services needed to facilitate a move, such as a handyman, real estate agent, or appraiser.
At the end of move-in day, Zeller’s goal is to have the senior safe and settled with 99 percent of the boxes unpacked and the items put away.
She said: “If the person has 15 boxes to unpack and lots of details undone then they often don’t give themselves permission to enjoy the new community and participate in activities. If the move-in doesn’t go well, the community gets blamed and the senior is unhappy. Our goal is to get them through that process.”
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Jane Adler is a Chicago-area freelance writer. If you have questions or information to share regarding housing for senior citizens, write to Senior Housing c/o Chicago Tribune Real Estate Section, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill., 60611. Or e-mail adler@megsinet.net
