Dear Ann Landers: My sister and I need your help. Our 68-year-old alcoholic father has not been doing well since Mom died four years ago. Neither of us lives near him, but we try to keep in touch. In the last four years, Dad has befriended some real lowlifes, and we are starting to get concerned.
The first man was a paying boarder. In the six months he lived with Dad, he turned the house into a drug haven. In order to get rid of the guy, Dad had to call the police. The second man never paid rent. He passed out on the sofa one day, and Dad let him stay. A few weeks later, a new “friend” talked Dad into lending him $7,500. He left town the next day, and we never heard from the guy again.
The current roommate is “Clyde,” a 42-year-old man who has been living with Dad rent-free for almost a year. Clyde claims to have hurt his back, and says he cannot work. Meanwhile, Clyde has filled Dad’s garage and shed with his beat-up welding equipment that no one ever uses. Dad’s car is parked outside, since there’s no room in the garage.
Last month, Dad suffered a heart attack, and my sister and I flew in to be with him. We found out that Clyde told the doctors he was Dad’s stepson so he would be allowed into his room as a visitor. The rule was “family members only.” Clyde brought Dad’s checkbook to the hospital, and asked him to write a check for spending money. I was appalled.
The doctors tell us Dad’s heart is failing, and that he also has prostate cancer. Meanwhile, Clyde is still living in Dad’s house, running up his grocery bill, and using the telephone to make long-distance calls. Dad refuses to sign a power of attorney, so my sister and I have no authority to throw Clyde out. Dad insists he is in his right mind, and that no one can tell him what to do.
We are convinced Clyde is a con man, and are worried sick. Is there anything we can do about this galling situation?
Daughters in Turmoil
Dear Daughters: Your father needs help, and it’s up to you to see that he gets it. Report his bizarre behavior to his doctor, and document Clyde’s exploitative shenanigans. This con man needs to be reined in, and you two are the only ones who can see that it’s done. Move swiftly. Your dad needs help now.
Dear Ann Landers: Our twin girls are now 18 months old. They are adorable, and have been talking in sentences for four months. We have been dressing the girls alike, which is quite an attention-getter. I know you are a twin, and wonder how it was in your growing-up years. I’m sure all parents who are raising twins will be interested in what you have to say.
A Double Blessing, or Double Trouble?
Dear Double: Growing up a twin was fun, but we received entirely too much attention. We also had very blue eyes and very black hair, a startling combination. Mama dressed us alike, so, of course, we stood out wherever we went. She was an accomplished seamstress, and we had some wonderful-looking outfits. We also had two older sisters who doted on us, so we were spoiled rotten. Naturally, we got into a great deal of mischief, because what one didn’t think of, the other did. Example: One day, we found a pair of scissors and cut all the fringe off the living room rug.
If you are dressing your twin daughters alike, please stop it. Encourage individuality. Don’t make showpieces out of your twins. And no blanket praise or punishment, please. Each twin should get whatever she has coming. Twins can be a double blessing or double trouble. Good luck. You are going to need it.
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Lonesome? Take charge of your life and turn it around. Write for Ann Landers’ new booklet, “How to Make Friends and Stop Being Lonely.” Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $4.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Friends, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $5.15.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
