Twenty-one balls were lined up along the 18th fairway Wednesday morning.
The sun still was low off to the east and a slight fog shrouded the cliffs in the distance. The water in front of them was calm, with a lone canoe bobbing close to the shore.
The balls were set up to allow the players to perform a “21-tee salute” to golf’s fallen hero, their friend. Tom Lehman, Lee Janzen, Paul Azinger, Scott Hoch, Jesper Parnevik and more were there.
A voice said, “Ready, aim, fire.” On command, the players sent the balls streaming into the morning sky, landing harmlessly in Carmel Bay.
There were no penalties for hitting into the water on this day.
Then they walked back down the fairway, hugged their friend’s widow and tried to get ready for the business at hand.
If only it were that easy.
The memory of Payne Stewart hangs over the field at the U.S. Open, which begins Thursday at Pebble Beach. Players still can’t believe last year’s champion isn’t here to defend his title.
“It’s just hard to grasp that a tragedy of that magnitude could have happened to the current United States Open champion,” Azinger said of the plane crash that killed Stewart and five others last year.
“I think just getting on an airplane now is different than it was for all of us.”
Many of the players gathered Wednesday for a memorial service. Azinger spoke, calling Stewart “the color of the PGA Tour.” Stewart’s widow, Tracey, told the crowd her husband was all about “hope.”
It was an attempt to gain some closure. But it didn’t come Wednesday and might not come for a long time.
“It seems like every time I’ve been to a tribute to Payne, it gets tougher,” Hal Sutton said. “Nothing seems fitting, especially in this setting. I was sitting there thinking about how beautiful this is and I’m thinking he has missed the opportunity to be present and be the defending champion. To walk the fairways thinking, `I won this tournament last year.'”
The notion has proved to be especially haunting to Phil Mickelson. Returning to the U.S. Open has launched an avalanche of emotions from last year’s event at Pinehurst.
Mickelson battled Stewart down the stretch while wearing a beeper so his wife, Amy, could signal him if she went into labor. Then he fell short in his bid for his first major when Stewart sank the 15-footer on 18 to win the title.
Mickelson recalled Stewart grabbing his face in the aftermath, telling him, “You’re going to be a father.”
“When he did that, it changed my feeling about the disappointment I had just felt, to look forward to what’s important in my life,” Mickelson said. “I have very fond memories of Payne Stewart. It’s just difficult sometimes to think about last year and what took place and recall all the events.”
Mickelson even requested reporters not to ask him about last year once the tournament starts because it is too emotional for him. Indeed, maintaining focus has been a challenge, and players have dealt with it differently.
Tiger Woods did not attend Wednesday’s memorial service. Instead, he went out by himself at 6:40 a.m. Woods’ absence raised some eyebrows because he and Stewart lived close to each other in Orlando and were teammates on last year’s Ryder Cup team.
Woods was hardly the only no-show. Mark O’Meara, another Orlando resident and Ryder Cup teammate, began a practice round as the service started; his wife, Alicia, was in the audience. Azinger stressed that he wasn’t expecting every player to attend.
“Obviously, it’s going to be difficult at times,” Woods said Tuesday. “I think each person is handling it differently. To me, the way I like to handle things, I’d rather go about my business. I think there’s going to be times when I’m going to think about him and he’s going to cross my mind. But I have to put that out of my mind and get back focused on what I’m going to do.”
Azinger, though, keeps Stewart in his mind at all times. Stewart was in his thoughts when he won the Sony Open in January for his first title since he was diagnosed with cancer in 1993. He believes Stewart’s inspiration helped him win the tournament.
Most of all, Azinger recalls the man away from the course. He remembers the fun they had together and how Stewart had to be the life of the party. And he also remembers that day in October when he learned the swiftness of fate.
“Time, I think, always is a healer,” Azinger said. “But it also can be a revealer. I think a lot of things have been revealed to me through the time of the healing. But it’s just really difficult to put into words the sense of loss you feel when something like that happens so quickly. There was no preparation for that whatsoever.”
At the ceremony, Azinger fought through his emotions.
While acknowledging that this was golf’s last opportunity to remember Stewart, he added, “I don’t see how it is possible to forget Payne Stewart.”
The service itself was understated, completely un-Payne-like. But the feelings were there.
As the last balls fell into the bay, a voice in the distance put an appropriate climax to the memorial.
“We love you, Payne.”
