If parenting came with an owners manual, then moms and dads wouldn’t need parent universities.
A day of workshops and speakers designed to help parents gather information, parent universities are a chance to learn new skills geared to coping with the daily challenges of raising children.
School District 113, which includes Highland Park and Deerfield High Schools, will be holding its 4th annual parent university in November. Typically, the event draws between 300 and 500 people, and organizers have found that attendance continues to grow each year.
“Let’s face it, kids are living in a different world today,” said Joe Senese, assistant principal of Highland Park High School. “Parents used to know what kind of world their child was living in, but that may not be the case now. I think that is why these workshops are so popular, especially if everyone attending can walk away having gained something.”
Although school districts usually tailor their parent university to meet the needs of their community, most follow a similar format, with a keynote speaker and individualized workshops geared to parents of infants through college-age children. District 113 organizers routinely speak with local police departments, park districts, nursery schools, youth and senior citizen groups and other community agencies to find out what topics are most relevant to the community when planning their event.
Popular workshops at the Highland Park/Deerfield Parent University in the past have included such varied subjects as adolescence, adoption, motivation and attention deficit disorder. Workshops on tap for this year will cover such topics as nutrition, emotional intelligence in preschoolers, anger management and teens and alcohol, sex, drugs and parties. “I have always been interested in my son and the issues that he confronts,” said Marla Brill, who attended the university last year and is the mother of a Highland Park High School student. “I really found these classes to be enriching, and it was a great opportunity to get more information on a variety of topics. It was also really comforting to know that you are not alone on some of the issues you have to deal with.”
Hinsdale Township High School, along with the Naperville School District, were among the first to hold parent universities eight years ago. Laird Luoma, director of student assistance at Hinsdale, said that he has certainly seen the idea take off.
“We have put together a manual to help other schools who are thinking about holding a parent university, because we found that there was so much interest in them and so many schools wanting to know what other schools were doing,” Luoma said.
Mike Feld, a clinical psychiatrist, believes that parent universities are popular because although most parents are well intentioned, no one enters parenthood fully prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. Feld said his workshop on common-sense parenting encourages parents to develop a plan for parenting and to stick with itHe added that he finds many parents don’t know the different ways to parent children of different ages.
“If there is a death in the family, you’ll need to handle it differently with a 6-year-old than you would with a 9-year-old. Many parents don’t know exactly how to do that.”
Char Wenc, a clinical counselor from Burr Ridge, will be delivering the keynote address at parent universities being held at Antioch Community High School in March and Glenbrook North High School on Nov. 4. “Parenting is absolutely the only lifetime job that requires no training,” she said. “I believe as parents it is our job to encourage our children and it is our job to discipline them. It is my goal to show parents how to strike a balance between the two.”
In her speech, Wenc said she will give parents techniques on how to encourage children and concrete examples of discipline, calling these tools the “positive tools of parenting.” She also will talk about three different parenting styles–pampering, autocratic and democratic–and the different types of children that will result from each style.
Some parent universities, hoping to get another point of view, have decided to include children in the workshops.
At the program being held at Lake Forest High School (in cooperation with a group called Linking Efforts Against Drugs) a group of students will be on hand to role play and act out their feelings during certain situations. Parents will have the opportunity to ask the students questions while they are role-playing.
“This really gives the parents a sense of reality, since your own children may not always tell you what they are feeling,” said Stacy Vermylen, chairwoman of Parent University for LEAD. “It gives parents empathy for what the kids might be feeling because they are right there in front of them telling them.”
“We have a very eager-to-learn population,” said Teri Olian, co-chair of the District 113 event.
HERE’S WHERE PARENTS CAN GET EDUCATED
The following are upcoming parent universities.
Saturday: Wheeling High School, 900 S. Elmhurst Rd.
Keynote speaker Denise Claessens will speak on “Be All That You Can Be, Active Parent.” Wheeling High School, 900 S. Elmhurst Rd. Cost: $10 per person. Sponsored by School District 214, which includes Buffalo Grove, Hersey, Rolling Meadows, Prospect, Wheeling and Elk Grove High Schools. Time: 8:15 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. For more information, call your representative school.
Nov. 4: Glenbrook North High School, 2300 Shermer Rd., Northbrook. Features keynote speaker Char Wenc on “Parenting: Are We Having Fun Yet?” Sponsored by Northbrook Citizens For Drug and Alcohol Awareness in cooperation with Glenbrook North High School, Northbrook Park District, North Suburban YMCA. Cost: $20 person; early registration (by Wednesday) is $15. Time: 8 a.m. to 1:15 p.m. 847-272-7870.
Nov. 18: Highland Park High School, west entrance, 433 Vine Ave. Sponsored by School District 113, which includes Deerfield, Highland Park, Bannockburn, Riverwoods and Highwood. Thomas Phelan will speak on nurturing self-esteem in children. Cost: $10 for first family member, $5 each additional member. Time: 8 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. 847-926-9247.
Feb. 24: Lake Forest High School, 1285 N. McKinley, Lake Forest.
Sponsored by School Districts 115, 67, 65, which includes Lake Forest and Lake Bluff, in partnership with Linking Efforts Against Drugs. Cost: $25 per person; $20 for those who pre-register. Time: morning session only. 847-295-9075.
March 10: Antioch Community High School, 1133 Main St., Antioch. Sponsored by School Districts 117 and 34, which includes Antioch, Lake Villa and Lindenhurst. Keynote speaker Char Wenc will speak on “Parenting, Are We Having Fun Yet?” (Cost to be determined.) Time: 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. 847-395-1421, ext. 254.
March 17: Lake Zurich Middle School North, 100 Church St., Lake Zurich. Sponsored by District 95, which includes all Lake Zurich schools. Keynote speaker will be Michele Borba, on “Parents Do Make A Difference: Raising Kids With Strong Character, Strong Mind and Strong Heart.” Cost: $18 per parent, $25 for both parents. Time: 8:15 a.m. to 3 p.m. 847-726-7325.
