Recently, I spent a Saturday night watching a professional sporting (?) event in what used to be the home of the “Showtime” Los Angeles Lakers and the “blow it every time” Los Angeles Kings. It was a little strange, not because the old and musty Great Western Forum had been oddly reconfigured to accommodate this special event, but because the action at center court was far more entertaining than the Lakers and Kings.
To say that the perpetually late-arriving Los Angeles crowd was totally into the Women of Wrestling (WOW) tour during a taping of WOW’s nationally syndicated television series would be an understatement. A diverse group of men, women and children applauded and booed enthusiastically as women wrasslers — with monikers such as Caged Heat, The Farmer’s Daughter, Riot, Jungle Girl, Sunny, Sandy and Slam Dunk — threw each other out of the ring with reckless abandon, pulled each others’ hair, punched each other in the chest, and performed aerial body slams and a variety of gymnastic routines that would have impressed any Olympic judge in Sydney. Trust me, it was some girl fight.
However, I was more interested in learning why these women decided to seek a career in professional wrestling than I was in seeing them decimate each other. What kind of woman would willingly risk breaking a nail to pin another woman down on a dirty mat for 10 seconds?
It wasn’t until after having watched an endless array of these “staged” matches that part of my curiosity was satisfied. After circling the Forum’s tunnels twice in search of anyone wearing spandex or cutoffs, I spotted the three members of Caged Heat in the VIP room, still dressed in their prison-issued orange jumpsuit costumes.
All three women appeared to be very intelligent and gracious. Delta Lotta Pain (Jwaundace Candece) is an aspiring actress and writer from Atlanta. Vendetta (Nicole Ochoa ), who didn’t compete in the match because of an injury, is also a wannabe thespian from Los Angeles. And the Queens-born Loca (Cher Ferreira) is an actress too.
I suppose good acting skills come in handy for professional wrestlers; however, Caged Heat explained that WOW’s audition process was like “being in the Army.” Not only does WOW, which is part of WOW Entertainment Inc. of Indianapolis, put applicants through arduous physical training, they also look for women who are “camera friendly.”
“I came to L.A. to be an actress” says Delta. “I was always athletic, but never thought about wrestling. I think the two fields are kind of similar. We try to bring some character to these characters. I’m going to ride this boat until Oliver Stone or Steven Spielberg calls me.”
While Julia Roberts probably never considered taking this less-traveled road to Hollywood stardom, Caged Heat could be off to a good start. Their theatrics, including greeting all of the “good” girls who come into the ring with forearm blocks or running drop kicks, impressed even a cynic like me. “We love being bad,” says Vendetta. “It’s more fun.”
“Yeah, besides, we don’t like some of the good girls,” teased Delta.
“Right, we ain’t gonna say no names, but …” added Vendetta.
“It’s like fuel when the audience boos us,” says Loca. “It just makes us want to be badder.”
What’s truly bad about wrestling in general — and please, Loca, don’t hurt me — is that most of those drop kicks and head butts look faker than Pamela Anderson’s you-know-whats when you’re up close and personal. Jeez, my head has hit my pillow harder after a relaxing bubble bath than some of those punches Riot threw at The Farmer’s Daughter.
Caged Heat denies this allegation.
“I would like for anyone who thinks that to get in the ring with us,” says Delta. “We don’t use stunt doubles.”
Adds Vendetta: “I’d like to show them my MRI.”
Nice try, ladies, but I’m still not convinced.
However, despite the rather nefarious reputation wrestling has among those who travel in — dare I say — more cultured circles, there is something positive that comes out of these slugfests.
“When people think of women’s wrestling, they usually think of women rolling around in the mud,” says Loca. “I think this is very positive for women in general because we get to be role models for little girls. Us being in that ring shows them that they can do whatever they want to. WOW is going to blow up. We’re all really excited to show off all our hard work.”
I guess I’ve found my answer. They do work hard, and there were a whole slew of little girls at the Forum that night who clearly looked up to these scantily clad, lean, mean, fighting machines.
And heck, I suppose I’d be willing to rumble, too, if I were 20 years younger, had abs of steel and a sworn affidavit from my parents saying they wouldn’t cut me out of their will.
But once I broke a nail, it would be all over, baby.
