Basketball practice, flute lessons, chores, math tutoring, Scouts, homework, swim meets, play rehearsals, book group, homework, homework, homework … Feeling like you’re on an activity roller coaster that never stops?
Can’t remember the last time you were bored or had time to just chill out?
If you’re feeling like your life is spinning out of control, read on. We talked with kids and experts about how to avoid an activity meltdown and keep stress in check.
1. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. “One of the things that stresses kids out the
most is pressure to succeed at such a young age,” says Trevor Romain, author of “Stress Can Really Get on Your Nerves!”
Kids face high expectations on many fronts: at home from parents, at
school from teachers, on the playing field from coaches and everywhere from peers. Romain says kids need to realize that winning isn’t everything and that they don’t have to be the best.
2. DO WHAT YOU LOVE. Playing on two travel teams (soccer and baseball) and competing on the local swim team kept Jackson D., 12, hopping last summer. In fact, there were a few times when competitions conflicted and he was forced to miss a meet or game. Though the schedule was hectic, Jackson says he was cool with it.
“I really look forward to the sports season because I love doing it,” he says. “I do school because I have to. I do sports because I love it.”
During the school year, Jackson plays on one travel team (indoor soccer), which allows more time to hang out with friends. His mom, Carol, notes that as long as Jackson keeps up his grades – and she emphasizes that they don’t have to be perfect – and gets enough sleep, she supports his activities. “He goes off to school in a good mood and comes home in a good mood,” she says. “He’s really a happy kid.”
3. BE FLEXIBLE. Jackson’s sister Melissa, 15, keeps busy with band and choir practice, voice lessons, Quiz Bowl and work at the local library 10 hours a week.
As a high school sophomore, Melissa says homework is probably the most stressful component in her life. She says she gets as much done as possible during the school day, but often will have project work to complete at home.
When the homework is too overwhelming, she says, she reschedules her lessons and practice times to accommodate her homework load. That flexibility helps her avoid the stress that comes when homework and activities collide.
4. TIMING IS EVERYTHING. Because you can’t be in two places at once and cloning isn’t an option, avoid scheduling same-day activities or overbooking your schedule.
Beth F., 13, says she chose to join the choir this year not only because she enjoys singing but also because rehearsals are held three mornings a week before school. This allows her to -continue with soccer and Scouts after school and not feel overloaded at the back end.
5. EVALUATE. OK, so who really wants to play the piano? You or your mom? If you’re stressed out every time you touch the keyboard, you need to let your parents know how you feel. It’s not unusual for kids to lose interest in activities. It’s also not unusual for parents to insist kids continue with lessons and practice – even if the kids hate it. If your parents insist you continue, consider having a teacher or coach talk to them. Sometimes a third party can help the situation.
If you just know your folks wouldn’t go for that, you could consider working out a compromise. If your folks insist you stick with piano and you insist on playing soccer, then find a way to make those two activities work and decide on a third activity you can drop.
6. PLAY. That’s right – get out and play! You remember play time. No, we don’t mean playing an instrument in the band or playing a sport. We mean play as in climbing a tree, riding a bike, reading a book of your own choosing (not one assigned by your English teacher) or doing something spontaneous and silly.
“In our efforts to create great kids, we are forgetting to let them be kids,” Romain observes. “Kids today are so overloaded with activities and homework that they don’t even have time to play.”
