The pair: Candace (Candy) Butera, 52, of Oak Park, a special education teacher at Lyon School in Chicago, and Gale Foster Farley of Oak Park, an at-home mom who just completed her second master’s degree (her first one was in public administration; her second is in counseling), and a volunteer in Oak Park schools.
How they met: Through their sons’ friendship in 2nd grade at Mann School in 1992.
What attracted them as friends: “Gale has an infectious laugh that attracts people’s attention, suggesting an adventure may be around the corner, and she always looks as if she popped off the pages of Vogue,” says Butera. “She epitomizes all that is wonderful in a girlfriend relationship. She’s warm, caring, generous and thoughtful, even with her busy schedule.”
“We share the same values, morals and scruples,” Farley says. “Candy was always funny, light-hearted and easy to be friendly with. [With] some girlfriends you have to work at it.”
Appreciating the quirks: “Gale seems to know everyone and power-shops at a black-belt level,” Butera says. “We both have a `gift’ room for the times you need that little something for someone unexpectedly.”
“We like to save and have a lot of stuff,” says Farley, who hoards barrels of holiday decorations for every season.
What keeps their bond strong: “We take the time to stay in touch in our busy lives, either by phone or cards, recognize the small or great events in our lives, and plan social activities for our families and us,” Butera says.
“We respect each other’s values, likes and dislikes, and listen to each other’s hopes and concerns. What matters to Candy matters to me,” Farley says.
Dealing with conflict: “We respect each other’s differences,” notes Farley. “We don’t always agree on everything. That’s part of being friends. If you’re a clone, it makes it uninteresting. We agree to disagree.”
What they admire about each other: “I trust her, value her opinion, respect her integrity and admire her moral fiber. She embraces you into her fold, and that’s a warm, loving, safe place to be,” Butera says. “She’s always trying to bring about positive experiences. You know the story about the lemons being turned into lemonade–that’s Gale. She’ll take time out to call you or to drop you a line if she knows there’s extra stress going on in your life.” After a cousin Butera was very close to died, Farley made her a special box filled with a journal, an aromatherapy candle, fragrant hand lotion and other pampering items.
“Candy is sweet and kind and real,” says Farley. “She has a genuine benevolence for other people. She’s easy to love.”
For a good time: They eat at each other’s houses or at restaurants, exercise together at Fitt Force in Oak Park and attend their sons’ baseball games and Boy Scout events.
Special memories: “During our children’s championship baseball games, we’d take turns bringing a treat for the children and something extra for the adults,” Butera recalls. “Gale brought this gorgeous wicker basket filled with delectable, gourmet items to munch on, with a patriotic paper goods theme and fresh flowers to boot. Gale’s gift baskets are her trademark.”
For Farley? “Our boys were in 5th grade and we were sending them to space camp in Huntsville, Ala., and Candy and I stood at the airport crying while our boys were boarding the airplane.”
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Have you established a good friendship? Please write to us about it and we may feature you in “Friends.” E-mail marla444@aol.com or write to Marla Paul, c/o Chicago Tribune, WomanNews, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
