NAME: Donna Erickson
BACKGROUND: Donna Erickson is the host of the syndicated television show “Donna’s Day” and target.com’s toy and play expert. She has written eight family activity books, including “Prime Time Together . . . With Kids.” Erickson, who lives in Minneapolis, is also a columnist for Parents magazine.
Q–What sounds like fun to you?
A–When we find activities that our children like to do and that we like to do as well, that’s when the fun begins. I think with their busy, overstressed lives, a lot of adults have lost the child in themselves, the ability to let go and have a good time.
Q–It’s about letting go?
A–When you do something with kids, whether it’s baking cookies or doing a project together, it’s usually a big mess. Some parents shy away from that–“I don’t want to deal with a mess!”–but a mess is usually the sign of a good time. When we’re together with our kids, having fun, this is when memories are made. It’s playing catch with Mom in the front yard, just laughing. Simple, ordinary things.
Q–How do toys fit in?
A–In our family we look for things that will be great for the kids but can also bring the family together. With scooters, for example, you can think about having your own family fitness club on Saturday mornings. It’s a great way to get kids to anticipate something fun they’ll be doing with Mom or Dad, an aunt or uncle, or maybe a neighbor. The kids can scoot while the adults power-walk. Or you can have a family game night with board games every Wednesday or every other Wednesday. Everyone can look forward to it. It’s something we can be intentional about, but it’s not a chore.
Q–What else is fun that’s not traditionally considered “play?”
A–Families can have a great time in the kitchen. Make a meal together; make it special. You know, kids come home and you ask them, “How was school?” “Fine.” “What did you do?” “Nothing.” You don’t get much from them when it’s eye to eye. But when you’re doing an activity together, that’s when the stories emerge–when you’re peeling a banana for the fruit salad.
Q–Or doing housework?
A–Things that are usually thought of as work can actually be play. When you’re sorting socks in the laundry, your preschooler can get involved, putting blue socks with blue and red with red. When you get to one with a hole in it, turn it into a little puppet show; tell stories with each other. Take what you’re already doing and turn it into fun.
Q–So it’s not really about toys?
A–You can turn something ordinary into something extraordinary. Take an aluminum can and turn it into a drum. Turn a big cardboard box into a fort or a TV studio where the kids can put on their own prime-time special. Fun is not about stuff. What children want more than anything is the gift of our time.
Q–What can parents do if they have too much stuff?
A–Many families, when a child receives a new toy, will find other toys the child is no longer using, and they’re still in good shape and clean. You can put all these things together and go with your child and take them to a place where you can pass them on to other children–hospitals or other places where people will appreciate them.
Q–Get out into the larger world?
A–Yes. Get out of the house. Go on a nature walk. Look at what’s happening in your neighborhood. Go to a museum, a play.
Q–Is there such a thing as too much fun?
A–Children need downtime. We’re overscheduled, as families. Children are off to many different experts–to ballet, to karate, to sports–all worthwhile, but children also need time to be by themselves and to feel the love and security of a parent. Each of us is an expert: We have something special we can share with a child that no one else has. If we have a hobby, an interest, we feel the joy in the sharing because it’s something we’re interested in.
Q–What is some good, quiet fun?
A–Books are one of the greatest ways for children to relax. Go to the library with them. Read to them at night. Create new endings for stories. Or make up new stories involving your child and one of the characters in a book.
Q–What about involving other members of the family?
A–If grandparents come to your home, ask them to bring a family recipe. Share traditions. Start new ones. Or have the kids pretend to be reporters, and ask questions of their relatives. They can ask their grandmother what she did for her birthday when she was young, what was school like, what kind of car she had. They can do it with a tape recorder and make a little book about their family. They learn through experiences like this that they’re connected to people, even people who may live far away.
