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Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Computer game industry analysts saw a flood of gold rings instead of deadly killer anvils falling out of the virtual sky in the wake of Sega’s announcement of the end of its Dreamcast machine last week. The existing 3 million Dreamcast game consoles will be the last made because the company’s balance sheet looks like the loser in No Prisoners Level Mortal Kombat.

So where is the good news? Sega’s new game plan calls for rewriting its stable of classics to play on PCs, cell phones, PlayStations, Game Boys, Palms and the coming Microsoft Xbox. This means that Sega’s utterly enchanting Sonic the Hedgehog will expand from the tiny Sega base to the rest of the game playing world. Now that’s fun.

SPEED TRAP

PING KONG

Everybody who connects to the Internet has the same nagging question. How fast is my connection? Modem jockeys at America Online suspect that the little sign-on screen boasting that they connected at 33,000 bits per second is bogus. Those who shelled out for cable modems or hot rod DSL links wonder if they really are getting the promised 415,000 bps, 1.5 million bps or whatever. Log on to WebServices.cnet.com and get the bad news in real time with a connection tester that uses Internet features called pings to take readings of your actual speed much as state troopers bounce radar off your car. Try it. It’s the real ping.

WORD WAR 3.0

BILL’S FAVORITE WRITER?

As the business-friendly Bushites take over the U.S. Justice Department’s antitrust division, Microsoft Corp. began using renowned media writer Ken Auletta’s “World War 3.0: Microsoft and Its Enemies” for a new legal attack charging that Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, who ordered Microsoft broken into two companies, decided to wipe out the company because he didn’t like Bill Gates.

A lot.

The legal brief notes that the judge ranted against the company in a 10-hour taped interview likening Microsoft executives to a gang of notorious racketeers called The Newton Boys. Check it out at www.microsoft.com/presspass/trial/appeals/01-29reply.asp. Now that’s a mouthful.

NAP$TER 1

NAPSTER 0

Executives of America’s massively popular music piracy service broke the news in far-off Davos, Switzerland, that come summertime they will require a monthly fee ($5 most likely) in a move to milk cash from the 57 million people who have used the free MP3 music swapping service. They also pledged on the Web site that even though they are partly owned by recording industry giant Bertelsmann, the service will continue to offer downloads from all publishers including oldies and garage bands. Keep in mind that their lawyer, anti-Microsoft hero David Boies, got trounced when he tried to honcho the Al Gore Florida legal battle.