Q–I started a part-time job just for extra money. I work in an area where the desks are lined up one after the other. I was friendly to everyone, but was slowly made aware of the cliques. Two women, one on each side of me, make plans daily to go to lunch, never inviting me or even talking to me. I once said that their lunch plans sounded good to me, but they ignored my comment. After two months, I asked one of them if I had ever said or done anything to offend her. She replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and refused to talk to me. I suspect they are both jealous because I make more per hour than they do. I still say hi to them even though they ignore me, but it makes working here very unpleasant.
A–You’ve handled the situation well by continuing to be friendly. They should not have been told your hourly wage, but since they know, perhaps they are having trouble justifying the difference. You can’t change people’s personalities or insecurities, so complaining to your boss won’t help. This is one of those unfortunate situations where you will have to rise above it or look for another job.
Q–I’ve worked in the temporary employment agency field for the past 15 years. After seeing how valuable but desperately overlooked over 50 workers are, I opened my own agency to help employ this age group. States that are youth-based and concerned with physical appearance, such as California, need to understand the worth of these dependable and committed employees. Do you think over 50workers are undervalued or that companies just don’t care enough to help these people?
A–Age discrimination in the workplace is state-blind. There’s a lot to be said for hiring employees with track records of loyalty, dependability, experience and wisdom, but it’s true that the prospect of getting hired as one ages gets slimmer each year. While companies may value all the attributes workers over 50 offer, they consider the expenses in giving benefits to older workers. When companies start analyzing turnover costs compared to long-term benefits, they might re-evaluate the value of the baby boomers.
Q–I am a gay man who works in a mid-sized, somewhat conservative company. About four years ago, I began dating John (not his real name) aco-worker. John and I both work in similar positions for the same female manager.John, however, has a close relationship with this woman and stands in when she needs a date for functions. The problem is that she has made comments to me about John belonging to her. Her reviews of me have been acceptable, but she brushes me off in person and has promoted John instead of me. Though he told her he was gay and was dating me, he has recently pulled away from me and is closer to her. The situation is so intolerable, I thought about quitting, but I like my job and don’t really want to leave. Do I have recourse through human resources or an attorney?
A–This is a personal matter and none of you would likely benefit by going to human resources or to a lawyer. Dealing with a love triangle is difficult, and favoritism in this situation is not illegal since you and John are both homosexuals. It hurts to be pushed away, but try to allow John the time he needs to understand his priorities. If you need an emotional outlet, see if your company has an employee assistance program for confidential counseling.
