`This is the book your boss doesn’t want you to read,” says author Kathleen Kelley Reardon of her latest opus, “The Secret Handshake: Mastering the Politics of the Business Inner Circle” (Doubleday/Currency Books, $24.95).
If you want to move ahead in a competitive environment, Reardon says, realize that your boss may not want to share lessons learned along the way. Instead, it’s up to you to figure out how to succeed at your organization.
The term “secret handshake” refers to the ways high-level members of an organization convey their shared distinction as insiders. The prerequisite of the secret handshake is political savvy, and the book offers ways to master the interpersonal politics of work.
What if you’re an idealist and seek a job where politics doesn’t enter into the workplace? Reardon notes some companies’ efforts to reduce dysfunctional politics, but says, “They can never entirely rid an organization of political games. . . . you will still need to keep abreast of what is actually going on politically and, if you want to stick around, adapt your style to fit.”
Advice on developing your style is culled from Reardon’s interviews with Fortune 500 executives. She also reveals several male-female differences on the path to political savvy.
When it comes to tending relationships, many people assume women have the upper hand. But Reardon contends that men now recognize it is a key aspect of business dealings, given that so much in our economy hinges on managing knowledge.
What women should focus on, she says, is being more strategic and selective in making connections.
For example, at a conference or networking event, do not approach everyone you can, saying, “Hi, I’m Jane and I’d really like to meet you.”
Instead, select a few people with whom you can develop mutually beneficial relationships and know what to say to get their interest.
When it comes to self-promotion, Reardon says putting the word out about your contributions will help you enter the inner circle of your company. Touching on a central tenet of the book–when in Rome do as the Romans do–she recommends looking at how other people in the organization publicize what they’ve accomplished. “Neither men nor women can boast too overtly,” she says. “They all have to learn strategies for getting the message across.”
Another hurdle that is specific to women is the fear of acquiring a negative label. As she explains in the book: “One of the obstacles for women . . . is believing that they’re better off keeping a low profile and not being labeled a `troublemaker.’ In reality, the only trouble here is the one caused by keeping on the sidelines rather than taking some calculated risks. Women need to stop worrying about being labeled as too feminine or too unfeminine, and get on with getting noticed and appreciated.”
Additionally, Reardon believes that women need to be as comfortable as men are with making deposits and withdrawals at the favor bank.
“Favors are part of human relations everywhere in the world,” she says. “Most politically adept people do favors with the knowledge that they may get favors in return.”
But while women are often quick to do favors for others, they may be hesitant to ask for favors or to remind colleagues that a favor is owed.
The next time someone asks you to pitch in, ask yourself what you’re giving up, how long it will take, whether the person will reciprocate and how specific you need to be about your expectations of a payback.
So, you might say: “OK, I’ll do it, but you owe me one.” Or: “OK, but I’ll need two hours of your time on Friday morning between 10 and noon to help me get a project completed on time.”
If the person asking has a record of not reciprocating, don’t do more favors for that person. Tell him or her: “I wish I could help, but I have x, y and z to do.”
Your verbal responses and requests have a big impact on your career progress. Reardon points out that many women make the mistake of diminishing their own comments or prefacing them with disclaimers, such as “Maybe we should look at more data.” Slightly different phrasing, such as “Let’s look at more data,” will make a difference.
Self-deprecation is so pervasive, Reardon says, that women do it outside of work as well. A woman in the car with her husband or boyfriend may say, “I think this is the exit,” even though she knows it is the exit.
Speaking this way is a consistent belittling of your contribution, the author says. “It seems so weak, and people will soon stop listening.”
Reardon suggests aiming for gradual change and peppering your language with phrases that leaders in your organization use.
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e-mail: jfitzgerald@tribune.com
