Ah, spring. The first warble of a red-breasted robin. Virginal green buds blossoming on trees. Daffodils and tulips bursting forth from the earth. Oh, and that other rite of spring: cleaning.
To be fair, though, it’s just not what it used to be. In fact, the entire concept of spring cleaning seems rather quaint today, like rotary telephones and daily visits from the milkman.
In the golden olden days, says Cheryl Mendelson, author of the 878-page tome “Home Comforts” (Scribner, $35 ), spring cleaning was about washing away layers of oily, sooty grime that accumulated on walls and floors and furniture over the winter in houses heated and lit by burning wood, candles, oil, gas, kerosene or coal.
Obviously, this is no longer the case. But the concept of spring cleaning survives, even if times and technology have changed its meaning. Spring is still a time of rebirth and reawakening–why not renew your acquaintance with a clean house, as well?
Moreover, where spring cleaning used to be drudgery, today it can be fun. It’s true. Really. Stop laughing.
“It takes an attitude adjustment, and then it takes carving out the time to make sure you don’t feel pressured,” says Mendelson, “because that’s a terrible feeling.” In fact, she says, if you decide it’s going to be fun, well then, it will be. “The toil will end for you,” she says.
There are, actually, all sorts of things you can do to have fun while scrubbing, scouring, dusting and drying, most of which include creating illusions that in some way obscure the fact that you’re scrubbing, scouring, dusting and drying.
For instance, multitask.
“I know someone who became fluent in Italian [while] doing housecleaning,” says Mendelson, noting that he listened to language tapes the whole time.
Or strap on a hands-free headset and talk on the phone. Or, find God. A big task, to be sure, but as Pam Young, half of the Vancouver, Wash.-based cleaning-advice duo known as The Slob Sisters, says listening to church sermons while cleaning–which is after all next to godliness–is a saintly thing to do. Almost every expert in the field suggests listening to music to take your mind off what you’re really doing.
Cheryl Mendelson likes to listen to rock ‘n’ roll, though once in while, she says, something more mournful, such as German lieder, is in order. Linda Cobb, author of “Talking Dirty with the Queen of Clean” (Pocket Books, $8.99) prefers Celine Dion because her songs are cheery and tend to be long. “I can usually accomplish one entire task in the time it takes her to sing a song,” she says.
Or try singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite show music. “`Oklahoma’ is good for that,” says Cobb. For Slob Sister Pam Young, it’s marching music such as John Philip Sousa or Edward Elgar’s “Pomp and Circumstance” that does the trick.
Vacuuming using Oreck’s XL Vacuum makes listening to your favorite FM radio station easy: it has a high-fidelity radio built into its ergonomically designed handle, all for only about $499.95 (call 800-289-5888 or visit www.oreck.com).
Several experts suggest you clean in the nude, especially in the bathroom where you’re often already naked. They warn, though, nude housecleaning is fraught with all sorts of other dangers, from dying of embarrassment when someone walks in on you to skin irritation from heavy-duty cleaning solvents.
If your interests include cooking or chemistry, suggests Joni Hilton, author of “Housekeeping Secrets My Mother Never Taught Me” (Prima Publishing, $16.95), why not try concocting your own supplies to add a shot of fun? There are all sorts of formulas in books and on the Internet, from mixing equal parts flour and salt with a small amount of vinegar to clean brass to combining 1/2 cup lemon juice and 1 cup vegetable oil to use on furniture in lieu of commercial furniture polishes.
As Don Aslett says in his book “Is There Life After Housework” (Writer’s Digest Books, $11.99) part of the fun of cleaning is in not cleaning everything. There’s no point cleaning regularly those areas no one notices, he notes, such as ceilings, pits in textured linoleum, or even windows.
Perhaps the best way to make cleaning fun is to follow the advice of Wellspring Media, an Internet company that promotes “total wellness” for mind and body.
“Are there any spots in the house that feel heavy or dark?” it asks on its Web site. “Pools of negative energy may have gathered there. Give the area a good cleaning, then finish it off by either ringing bells or a gong, or clapping loudly. This is a quick way to `break up’ the stagnation.”
10 TIPS TO CLEAN BY
1. Clean with someone you love. Perhaps your husband, your girlfriend, your kids. Leave love notes hidden about.
2. Schedule cleaning like a job. Give yourself a set start and end time, and stick to it. If you clean only when you can’t stand the mess another minute, then you really will feel that it’s an endless chore and that doing anything else would be better.
3. Dress the part. Wear overalls or an apron with big pockets to stuff things into, rubber gloves and comfortable shoes.
4. Tools are the order of the day. Having the proper tools that get the job done–even if they don’t look cool–will save you time and frustration. But good looks on top of good works never hurts.
5. Keep supplies nearby. Storing Ajax, Windex, and Tilex on the top shelf or the bottom shelf or any shelf that’s inconvenient, hard to reach or just plain out-of-the-way will make your cleaning routine more time-consuming, exasperating and annoying. But, of course, keep them out of reach of small children.
6. Two hands are better than one. So, if possible, practice your ambidexterity by spraying Lemon Pledge with one hand and dusting with the other or using two sponges on the countertop at once. You’ll be surprised how much time you save.
7. Treat your home like a canvas. Dust, vacuum and sweep before you do any heavy-duty cleaning.
8. Chart your course. Pretend you’re Vasco de Gama and map a route before you begin: foyer, living room, dining room, kitchen, kids’ room, master bedroom, den, mud room. You get the idea.
9. Minimize clutter first. To streamline the entire cleaning process, minimize clutter before you start to clean. “The fewer doodads that need to be dusted,” says cleaning expert Joni Hilton, “the better.”
10. Create a donation box. Even if it’s in the form of a plastic garbage bag. Then, as you clean, drop in things you no longer use or want–including clothes, books, toys or even shoes. That way it’ll be all ready to drop off at your favorite charity.
— Dan Santow
MUSIC-MAKERS COME CLEAN
Sure, the cleaning experts can suggest music to clean by, but people in the music business–from musicians to singers to arts administrators–are the true experts in the field. Here’s what some of them suggest.
Ellen Rosner: The self-styled gal-with-guitar whose new album is called “The Perfect Malcontent,” suggests P.J. Harvey’s latest, “Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea ,” especially the first cut, “Big Exit.” “It’s pounding and angry,” says Rosner, “perfect to clean to.” She also suggests Joan Osborn’s “Righteous Love” or the Chicago band Wilco’s “Summer Teeth,” whose hit song “Via Chicago” starts with the lyric, “I dreamed about killing you again last night, and it felt all right to me” (this sentence as published has been corrected in this text).
Spider Saloff: Chicago resident, chanteuse and co-host of WFMT’s “Words and Music” show recommends the compact discs issued by the Music Box Theater, 3733 N. Southport Ave., called “Intermission Music.” They feature Depression-era music with artists such as Rudy Vallee and Eddie Cantor performing songs such as “When It’s Sleepy Time Down South” and “You Call It Madness (But I Call It Love).” “It’s like cleaning to Betty Boop cartoons,” says Saloff. She also notes that the big-band music of Count Basie and Benny Goodman, as well as her own latest compact disc, “The Memory Of All That: A Celebration of Gershwin,” are excellent sounds to clean by as well.
Welz Kauffman: The CEO and president of the Ravinia Festival takes a classical approach to cleaning, suggesting Mozart’s “Eine kleine Nachmusik,” or “Short Ride in a Fast Machine” by John Adams, composer of the opera “Nixon in China.” But even more apt, perhaps is Kauffman’s third suggestion, Verdi’s opera “MacBeth,” in which, he notes, Lady MacBeth even sings an aria, “Una macchia e qui tuttora!,” about washing her hands. “Yet here’s a spot . . .” she sings (in Italian). “Out damned spot, out, I say!”
Kelly Hogan: Hogan, a leader in Chicago’s hot alternative country scene, suggests anything by The Rock-A-Teens, specifically the song “Cry.” She also likes the idea of cleaning to the Boswell Sisters or the soundtrack to what she called “that weird Steve Martin movie, ‘Pennies from Heaven.’ ” “Anything that inspires singing along makes cruddy tasks speed on by. . . . I like to pretend to be the third Indigo Girl when I’m cleaning the bathroom.”
— Dan Santow
WHERE TO BUY PRODUCTS
Here is information on the cleaning tools shown on our cover:
– Telescoping window washer, $34 at Restoration Hardware stores, 800-762-1005 or www.restorationhardware.com.
– Michael Graves feather duster, $5.99; bucket, $7.99; at Target stores, 800-800-8800 or www.Target.com.
– Oxydol, $5.95 at Restoration Hardware stores.
– Rubbermaid white scrub brush with blue and white bristles, $2.49 at home improvement centers, and hardware, discount and grocery stores.
– Target brand lime green rubber gloves, $1.99 for 2 pairs at Target stores.
— Dan Santow
