With his team fighting for its livelihood, closer Tom Gordon longs to return to the mound.
But he can’t. His right elbow is too painful.
And with only 16 games remaining on the Cubs’ schedule, it’s possible Gordon has thrown his final pitch of the season.
“God knows I want to do my job,” he said. “I’m in a rough situation, and I have to make a good decision because I don’t want to hurt my team and I don’t want to hurt myself.”
Gordon, who has not pitched since giving up Preston Wilson’s game-winning home run Sept. 5 at Florida, threw in the bullpen before Thursday’s game. He had to cut the session short.
“I couldn’t throw my curveball at all,” he said. “I still had some soreness in there.
“I want to be able to help this team, but I don’t want to go out there knowing I don’t have a real good chance to do my job.”
Gordon, who underwent reconstructive elbow surgery on Dec. 13, 1999, had an MRI performed on his elbow on Monday in Chicago. The results showed no damage to the ulnar collateral ligament.
Cubs manager Don Baylor said Tuesday that Gordon would have to rest a few days because of the dye that had been injected into his elbow to perform the MRI.
But Gordon said Thursday that the test was performed without using dye. That might call the results into question.
“The professionals, that’s what they’re there for,” Gordon said. “But there has to be a reason why my bone is still bothering me. I can’t pinpoint it.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the ligament. [Before] the last time I had surgery, I’d have pain after eight or nine throws. This is a different pain, and I’m praying that it’s not the ligament.”
Gordon has been invaluable to the Cubs, converting 19 consecutive save opportunities before Wilson’s opposite-field, three-run homer in Florida.
Now Gordon, who met with Baylor in his office Thursday morning, wonders if he should have another MRI, this one with the injection of dye.
Gordon said he would seek guidance from Dr. Lewis Yocum, who performed his surgery in 1999.
Although he hasn’t pitched in two weeks, Gordon clings to the hope that another seven to 10 days off might help. He doesn’t want to consider surgery.
“I don’t know what else I should do,” he said. “I have to make a good decision for myself, my teammates and my family.”
