Neither the Bears nor the Bucs are exactly unstoppable forces, but Sunday’s game does feature a collision of A-Trains. Tampa Bay running back Mike Alstott of Joliet doesn’t appreciate Bears rookie Anthony Thomas usurping his nickname. In Tampa a train whistle sounds over the PA system whenever the former Purdue runner scores a touchdown or makes a big play.
Q: Why is Alstott unhappy?
A: “I’ve been in the league six years and I have the name established and somebody tries to come in and take the name,” Alstott said.
Q: But didn’t Thomas arrive from Michigan with the name through no fault of his own?
A: “They can say he got it in college, but I had it in college also,” Alstott said.
Q: But isn’t imitation the sincerest form of flattery?
A: “No, it’s insulting,” Alstott said. “There’s only one A-Train.”
Q: Have the Bucs started their season yet?
A: Starts Sunday against the Bears. The Bucs are 4-4 for the fourth year in a row.
Q: Why are they five-point favorites to beat the 6-2 Bears?
A: Because they usually win that ninth game and then go on to bigger and better things.
Q: Is that why Keyshawn Johnson has scored zero touchdowns?
A: Exactly. He’s saving them all for the second half of the season. He doesn’t want to use them up in meaningless games.
Q: Doesn’t he lead the league in receptions?
A: Only the NFC. He has 59 catches, none in the end zone.
Q: Is that some sort of a record?
A: He’s gaining on it. Former New York Jets receiver Al Toon set the NFL record for most catches without a touchdown with 74 in 1991.
Q: Don’t the Bears have a similar record?
A: The Bears haven’t scored any kind of a touchdown in Tampa since 1998. They haven’t scored an offensive touchdown against the Bucs in 18 quarters.
Q: Who scored the last offensive touchdown?
A: Curtis Conway caught a pass from Moses Moreno. Last century.
Q: What does this mean?
A: There should be plenty of time for bathroom breaks without fear of missing end-zone action.
Q: How many sacks do Warren Sapp and Simeon Rice have now that the two Pro Bowl pass rushers play side by side?
A: Five.
Q: Apiece?
A: No, combined. Sapp has three and Rice has two.
Q: Why is that?
A: It was only the first half of the season. The Bucs believe they are ready to play now.
