Trying again to shore up the institution of marriage in the face of high divorce rates, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Chicago recently launched an outreach effort designed to help newlyweds navigate their first year together.
The premise is simple, said Frank Hannigan, director of the archdiocese’s family ministries office. “We’re hoping that if we have solid first years, the marriages will last forever,” he said.
Featuring workshops in the fifth and 10th months of marriage and a monthly e-mail newsletter with essays and exercises, the new First Years and Forever ministry mixes spiritual guidance with practical advice on getting along.
“If we deal with everyday issues and show them how faith plays a part, then the faith becomes more important to them,” Hannigan said. “It’s a combination of both.”
The concept of working with married couples has a long history in Chicago, beginning more than 50 years ago when Monsignor Jack Egan led a marriage enrichment ministry called the Cana Conference. It was named after the wedding feast at Cana where Jesus performed his first miracle.
Out of that ministry grew the marriage preparation program known as PreCana, which spread across the nation and around the world. For years, engaged couples planning to get married in the church have been required to participate in PreCana, a program that offers practical and theological lessons about the sacrament of marriage.
After the wedding day, however, church leaders have found that “the archdiocese struggles to get newly married couples to come back for anything because they’re so busy,” Hannigan said. “Now they’re both working 40-60 hours and they come home and they want to rest.”
Other post-wedding programs, such as Dinners for Two in the late 1970s, which assembled couples for inspirational programs and discussions, were short-lived, he said.
But with about half of all marriages ending in divorce, the archdiocese is giving the idea another try.
“The Catholic Church has been trying to strengthen marriages,” Hannigan said. “Are we frustrated with the divorce rate? Sure we are. Everybody would like to see less divorce.”
The goal of the new program is to reinforce to couples the need to invest time in strengthening the relationship, he said.
“So many people are into continuing education for their work or their careers. So we thought this was something married couples could buy into,” Hannigan said. “You should be spending time tuning up your marriage.”
Jillian Husa, 24, a South Sider who plans to marry Allen Cius Jr. in July, said focusing on the work of marriage is important.
“Marriage is dear to me,” she said. “So I think we’ll do everything we can to make the marriage work.”
Husa and Cius recently attended a PreCana workshop at St. Daniel the Prophet School on the Southwest Side. The marriage preparation classes are offered weekly by the archdiocese at parishes throughout Cook and Lake Counties.
The new extended program, Husa said, will help remind her to keep marriage a top priority. “I think it’s a great idea. Sometimes you need something extra, a little enlightenment,” she said.
Unlike other marriage outreach efforts, First Years and Forever lets couples work on topics without leaving home, via the monthly e-newsletters.
The e-mail will feature a short article written by a church leader or family counselor and include questions intended to encourage dialogue. It will offer suggested exercises, such as learning how to balance time and talking about expectations.
Each couple also gets a perpetual calendar that comes with a daily spiritual message, a romantic suggestion or a practical viewpoint.
Engaged couples began receiving their first e-newsletters last July. The post-wedding workshops still are being developed and are expected to be scheduled starting this month.
“I think it’ll save a lot of marriages,” Hannigan said of the program. “Otherwise, a lot of marriages just fade away.”
