The real estate sales person’s mantra offers the perfect common denominator for events of the past week, whether you live in Cicero; Malibu, Calif.; Melrose Park or, unfortunately, in prison.
Location: Cicero
Betty Loren-Maltese, Cicero’s town president, actually does live in Cicero, according to a Cook County electoral board ruling, which resolved a complaint from a longtime Loren-Maltese critic who charged that she had moved to Las Vegas.
The board said a Las Vegas homestead document signed by Loren-Maltese was not sufficient proof that she had left her home in Cicero. The board also concluded that logs kept by Cicero police officers who guard her house are not proof that she doesn’t live there anymore.
Loren-Maltese said she bought the Las Vegas property to provide a safe home for her mother and daughter after the family received death threats.
Location: Little Italy
The city has installed a high-tech parking-fee system in Little Italy on the Near West Side. Park on Taylor Street between Ashland Avenue and Ada Street and you have to walk to a terminal, insert money, then go back to the car and toss the receipt on the dash.
If this works well, free parking will likely disappear in lots of cherished, secret spots. Similar terminals have been tested in Chicago before, winning favorable reviews.
It’s all about revenue enhancement for the city. Mess up, and you get a $30 ticket. The machines cost $11,000 each and are solar powered, but at 25 cents per half-hour, they’ll be paid for before you know it. How many dinners out will it take to pay for one? Divide the bulk weight of the calamari by the consumption time/pound, add one hour’s worth of wine and main course, factor in 20 minutes of pure gabbing, then … dang.
Figure it out yourself.
Location: Prison
Joliet Correctional Center had its final lockdown over the past week. Its prisoners were cleared out, and the place was shut down as part of a state-budget-cutting spasm.
It’s about time.
It had 144 years of grim history, which has spawned blues songs, legends and awful stories. It is a decidedly not-funny place. It has housed everyone from first-time offenders spending time in the can for drunken driving to mass murderer John Wayne Gacy, who stopped at Joliet on his way to Stateville.
Critics have been calling the place out of date since 1920. It was constructed in 1858 from limestone quarried nearby by its first prisoners.
Joliet will still serve as a classification center until the state builds a new one at Stateville Correctional Center.
Location: Malibu
One of the abundantly great things about being filthy rich is that even if you can’t own your own public beach, you can limit the public’s access to the one in your front yard, which is driving ocean lovers wild. California law says development should not interfere with access to ocean shores, but many of the rich folk who live along Malibu Beach in California, for example, have built fences.
It’s not just a problem in California. There are legal battles all along U.S. coasts as beachfront property owners continue to insist that the land is theirs, while opponents argue that the beaches belong to everyone.
To make a long story short, see Fitzgerald, F. Scott, about the rich being different from you and me.
For those who don’t own beachfront land, rest assured that nature, with its persistent erosion, stunning hurricanes and unexpected tidal waves, will even up the score over time.
