Despite years of training as a martial artist, businesswoman Kristie Kilgore realized that she was not really prepared to protect herself in potentially violent or life-threatening situations.
So she set out to find another way, and she found it in the methods that professional bodyguards use to protect their clients. The goal of a bodyguard is to conduct their clients from Safe Point A to Safe Point B without incident, avoiding dangerous situations entirely.
“Violence is predictable, and therefore it’s preventable,” Kilgore said on the phone from her home in Arizona where she manages a group for the state that helps power plants and industrial facilities operate in a way that protects the environment. “The first step is deciding that you want to prevent violence,” she said.
Kilgore, 39, formulated a program that she teaches and recently published in “Eyes Wide Open: Bodyguard Strategies for Self-Protection” (Clinetop Press, $18.95). It is based on awareness and avoidance.
While she does teach physical technique, Kilgore said “my whole program is about first finding peace and well being within yourself, then avoiding conflict. First, learning how to handle conflict and last learning how to engage in confrontation once it happens.”
Women tend to fear being attacked by a stranger, but research shows that in most situations women are attacked by someone they know, Kilgore said. And more than half of attacks on women occur during daylight hours.
Kilgore touches on aspects that most self-defense classes probably do not–recognizing intuition and instincts, and identifying predators and the dangerous “bonds” they attempt to establish.
“Women are largely taught to dismiss their perceptions and to put the needs of others above their own, so a woman in [a potentially harmful situation] will often dismiss her first instincts, which tell her something is wrong.
“So that is the beginning of the bond and that’s part of the mental control, in which the predator is already gaining a foothold. It can happen in a nightclub situation, in a relationship, in a work situation, in all sorts of settings.”
The first goal in such situations is to remain neutral, avoiding involvement in the emotional exchange, Kilgore said.
“The next response is to match hard with soft. The more somebody is yelling and in your face, try a gentling response, using your hand to indicate `easy, calm down.’ Often just a calm-down posture will change the whole tone and if nothing else it might buy you time to move to a new location.”
Even if there is no actual confrontation, Kilgore is adamant about acting on gut instincts. She said she has no hesitation about turning around and immediately exiting an elevator if she gets a bad feeling.
Here are some key points about personal safety Kilgore stresses:
Awareness. It’s difficult to surprise a person who is paying attention to her surroundings.
Attitude. A confident attitude prevents you from looking like prey. “It’s key to carry yourself like you know where you’re going, no matter where you are,” Kilgore said.
High risk environments.
These include nightclubs and parties where inhibitions are reduced by alcohol or drugs; airports, airplanes and foreign countries; banks, ATM sites and other places where money changes hands; convenience stores and gas stations.
Blind spots, fatal funnels.
Fatal funnels are places with only one escape or departure route. Blind spots include bends in hallways, corners, shrubbery and foliage. It is a common tendency for people to move against a wall or to their safe vehicle if they feel threatened. It may feel safe but it is not, because it limits your options for both moving and visually surveying your surroundings.
Some worst-case scenarios:
A robber asks you to give up your valuables.
Keep your keys, identification and other vital information in the zipper pocket of your purse, then if you’re confronted, empty out the contents of the purse on the ground, including some loose money. The money attracts the attention of the robber and buys you time to escape.
Being grabbed from behind.
“One of the first things you have to do is overtake their pull, so that you’re the one driving the momentum and then there are simple techniques for either a choke hold or a hair pull. But the best defense is, again, awareness of your environment.”
