In the distant past (before cable television), Cro-Magnon man spread across Europe and totally kicked the butts of the Neanderthals who had been there longer (even before color television).
The Neanderthals were stronger, better adapted to the environment and had that impressive eyebrow thing going on. But the Cro-Magnons had cooler tools.
If another evolutionary takeover occurs, it will be for the same reason. Homo Allthumbsus, a clueless breed characterized by its plaintive cry, “We’re gonna have to call somebody,” will be displaced by Homo Black&Deckeron, whose males and females both can hang curtains.
If you’ve never considered yourself handy but want to avoid extinction, the secret of survival is not strength or intelligence. It’s having a decent set of tools and knowing what to do with them.
I’m going to give you a list of tools I think will get you through 95 percent of the routine maintenance jobs and 75 percent of the remodeling projects you’ll ever want to tackle. But don’t feel you have to go out and buy every one of them immediately.
If you just want to be prepared for light work around the house, start your tool shopping at a discount store and buy cheap. If you expect to use the tools regularly, visit a hardware or home improvement store and buy middle of the line. The most expensive versions of tools are for professionals.
Your basic tool collection will contain:
– 16-ounce claw hammer. The head is used for driving nails and other pounding jobs; the claw is used for pulling nails out and other prying. Cost is $5 to $20.
– Hacksaw and a tool-boxed size wood saw. Hacksaws ($5 for the handle, $1 to $3 for blades) are used to cut metal and plastic. The small wood saw ($6.50 to $10) is for household jobs and landscaping.
– Screwdriver set or multi-head screwdriver. Hand screwdrivers are appropriate for fine work for which an electric drill/driver may be too powerful. Sets of 5 to 10 run from about $3 to $25. Four-in-one screwdrivers with interchangeable heads are convenient and sell for $5 to $10.
– Utility knife. This handle that holds replaceable razor blades is indispensable and costs only $1 to $10.
– Tongue and groove pliers. Also called channel pliers, these can be adjusted to grip a variety of nuts and pipes.
– Locking pliers. Almost as versatile as a roll of duct tape, locking pliers–Vice Grip is the best-known brand–serve as clamps as well as pliers. It wouldn’t hurt to own several pair, but if you’re buying only one, get about a 10-inch pair with rounded notches in the jaws for $10 to $12.
– Wrench set. Check discount stores and auto supply stores for a set of about 30 standard and metric sockets that will cost you about $15 to $25. A set of combination wrenches with one end like a toothed circle and the other end like an open claw will handle the heavier turning. A set of eight will run about $20.
– Adjustable wrench. If you can’t find the right size wrench, a medium adjustable wrench for about $9 to $12 is a good fall-back.
– Tape rule. You can get an inch-wide, plastic-coated tape 25 to 30 feet long that can stretch out about 6 feet before flopping under its own weight for about $9 to $11.
– Tool boxes. Start with a medium-size box that will hold all the tools listed above. A box that doubles as a stepladder or cart is a good investment. Get a second box when the first starts getting too full.
– Nuts and bolts, nails, screws and fasteners. To start, get a couple of packages with a wide selection of sizes and types.
– Putty knife.
– Wood chisel. Used for cutting rough notches in wood.
– Builder’s level.
– Goggles and face masks. Basic plastic goggles cost about $5 to $7. Pick a dust or breathing mask based on the work you plan to do.
It never hurts to have a little duct tape and all-purpose glue on hand.
