Tom Gordon was too hurt to start last season.
And then he was too hurt to finish last season.
And now he’s too hurt to start this season.
Lucky for everyone he still found time to whine when manager Don Baylor talked about splitting his closer’s duties with Kyle Farnsworth.
Looks like the only thing the Cubs can trust Gordon to throw is a hissy fit.
Tom “Flash” Gordon, your plane is boarding.
Tell you what, this is where Farnsworth makes his career move. This is where he learns all that Jeff Fassero has taught him about being a professional. This is where he dares everybody to hit his 100 m.p.h. fastball.
The Cubs have groomed Farnsworth for this day, this job, this career. With Gordon down, perhaps forever, it’s time to give Farnsworth the ninth inning, and give it to him alone, not split it with Fassero.
There are three weeks left in spring training. That is a lot of ninth innings. That is a good start at finishing.
The Bears finally get a young Pro Bowl player, and they keep him. Guess Olin Kreutz’s contract didn’t require Jerry Angelo to check off any boxes.
Angelo also signed another tight end. Must be a rule that says the Bears have to sign a lot of players at a position they never use.
Barry Bonds ought to spend more time trying to pass Sammy Sosa in the joy department than matching Mark McGwire in the sourpuss category.
Jerry Krause now has a team that can compete with and even beat ones that are as sadly constructed as his. Ah, progress.
First, Washington coach Steve Spurrier brings in his former Florida quarterback, Danny Wuerffel. Then he goes after his former Florida quarterback, Shane Matthews. Man, Spurrier sure knows how to knock Michael Jordan off the front page.
Two words for Spurrier: Rick Pitino.
There are times when I think Ron Artest is just a more appropriately attired Dennis Rodman.
Elvis Grbac’s retirement leaves a void at overrated quarterback.
If I had to pick anyone to cast off a Super Bowl-winning quarterback for an overrated, overpaid guy who gets cut, I would choose Brian Billick. I mean, Billick annoys fingernails on the chalkboard.
Jose Valentin bats second, Ray Durham sixth. Any questions?
Last year, it was labrums. This year, hamstrings. Do the White Sox get a group rate on these things?
On the same day that Cubs kid center fielder Corey Patterson didn’t sound so hot about doing a lot of bunting, Sox All-Star center fielder Kenny Lofton bunted for a hit and came around to score on a sacrifice fly.
Nolan Richardson said Arkansas officials could pay off his contract and take his job. So they did. And now he’s suing. This explains a lot about some of his recently cited graduation figures.
Pat Kennedy said he came in with a reputation of being a builder of programs, which, of course, is what DePaul desperately needs right now.
E-mailer Don Gerard: “How is it that the Illini were ranked No. 14 on Feb. 4, and after going 8-0 and winning a share of the conference title, are now ranked No. 15?”
There’s talk of a movie about Bob Knight. I think it stars Brian Dennehy. Anyone heard anything about it?
Let’s say you have four Blackhawks season tickets at $75 apiece. Your Hawks tickets go to $100 each for the playoffs, so that’s $400 a game. You have to pay for four home games a series because they might have home-ice advantage all the way, so that’s $1,600 per round. And you have to pay for four rounds because they might go all the way, you never know, so that’s $6,400.
And it was all due Friday, thank you very much.
But wait. There’s more. Now let’s say you also have four Bears season tickets that now require personal seat licenses and that went for $50 in the old Soldier Field. You have to pony up at least 25 percent of the $3,740 PSL per ticket, so that’s $3,740 for your four seats, and you have to do it by Friday, thank you very much.
This, of course, gives you the right to purchase $50 seats that will cost you $80 if the new Soldier Field ever reopens.
So that’s more than $10,000 for two teams in one week. And you’re not really done paying, seeing as how you will still owe the Bears another $3,740 by Oct. 1, and then the remaining $7,480 by next May.
Oh, yeah. Next month your income taxes are due. Have a nice day.
