Dear Abby: Thank you for the laugh of the week — “Blushing in Baltimore,” complaining that from her kitchen sink she can see her neighbors making love in bed because they don’t pull the drapes or turn off the lights. I bet you her lights are off, and the only thing in her hands is a pair of binoculars!
This reminds me of the story of the old lady who called the police to complain that the man next door walked around his house naked. The police came to investigate and asked from which window she could see him. She pointed to the kitchen window. After watching for 10 minutes, they said, “Lady, we don’t see him.” The woman replied, “You’re not watching from the right angle. Get up on the kitchen table and you’ll see him just fine!”
— Laughing In Harrisburg
Dear Laughing: For a different angle, read on:
Dear Abby: Methinks “Blushing in Baltimore” protests too much! It doesn’t take Freud to understand the situation. The two parties are well-matched. The neighbors like to put on a show, and “Blushing” obliges them by watching.
Abby, nobody forces her to look. Doesn’t she have a life of her own? She could get drapes or blinds and go turn on her TV — but then, a live show beats network television any time. (And your suggestion to plant a tree would spoil everybody’s fun!)
— Seen It All In New Orleans
Dear Seen It All: Not necessarily. It depends on who’s pruning the tree.
Dear Abby: The other day a friend’s wife, “Mimi,” commented that she needed a new wardrobe because of her recent breast augmentation. I was taken aback because I didn’t realize she’d had the procedure.
Mimi then began unbuttoning her sweater, saying, “See? Whatcha think?” She was wearing a T-shirt underneath, but I wasn’t comfortable being asked to comment on her breasts. And with her husband standing a few feet away, I wasn’t sure I should be looking at all.
What kind of response would have been appropriate, Abby? Should I have complimented both husband and wife, or directed my comments just to her?
— Stumped By The Silicone Revolution
Dear Stumped: A safe reply would have been, “Your husband is a lucky man.”
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Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
