When Patricia Gruber was a 2nd-grader, she spent considerable time in the Lewis University Law Library (now part of Northern Illinois University) with her mother, Priscilla, a law student there.
These days, Patricia is still spending time with her mother in a law library, but now it’s as co-partner at Gruber Law Offices Ltd., a general practice law firm in Plainfield.
“I never thought I’d practice with her,” said Patricia, a 1992 University of Wisconsin Law School graduate. “I’d thought about it, but was afraid that Mom would impoverish herself by taking on another lawyer.”
“I didn’t think she’d join me,” confessed her equally surprised mother. “I always knew that we’d work well together, but wasn’t sure she’d be happy with a small-town practice.”
The Grubers typify a relatively small but growing business phenomenon–mothers and daughters who work together in the same business. Sometimes they’re co-owners; other times, one is boss.
No matter who’s in charge, these businesses seem to have significant competitive advantages–particularly when compared with father-son businesses, say experts, even though there may be equally potent emotional minefields, such as what happens when a business decision sours.
As yet, there are no statistics nationwide on this trend, says Julie Weeks, research director for the Washington-based Center for Women’s Business Research. Spokespersons for Illinois’ three National Association of Women Business Owners chapters, which have 530 members statewide, estimate fewer than 25 are mother-daughter businesses.
These businesses range from small retailers and service providers like the Grubers to The Pampered Chef Ltd., a privately owned kitchenware retailer in Addison with 1,100 employees and annual revenues of $740 million worldwide.
There are significant differences in how these firms are managed as opposed to father-son teams, said Michael G. Henning, a family-business consultant in Effingham.
“Compared to fathers, mothers are better at promoting growth and development in their children in business,” Henning said. “Fathers tend to be more competitive with sons, reminding them of their past failures, especially when sons want to change the business. Mothers are more encouraging. They’re more open to asking for help. Maybe that’s why I’ve had no business failures among mother-daughter owners.”
“Women have a better sense of the emotional side of things and recognize when things are going wrong faster than men,” agreed Andrew D. Keyt, executive director of Loyola University Chicago’s Family Business Center. “Because of that emotional sensitivity, mother-daughter teams are better managers.”
In 1986, Gail Izenstark, president of Direct Mail Source, a Skokie-based direct mail firm, “really needed the help” when she asked her daughter, Debbie, an entrepreneurship major at Northwestern University’s Kellogg Graduate School of Management, to join her.
Debbie immediately agreed, but Gail said, “I asked her to really think about it on three different occasions before we went forward. I didn’t want her to feel she was short-changing herself.”
Far from feeling shortchanged, Debbie’s glad she’s working with her mom instead of elsewhere. “There’s an unwritten trust, a loyalty. I never have to worry about my mom managing the company in a disruptive or negative way,” she said.
Rosanne Resteghene opened Jackie’s Hallmark store on the North Side a year ago with her daughters, Annette Quick, a former Hallmark manager, and Natalie Resteghene, a former Accenture consultant. Rosanne’s brother had built a mixed-use building there and needed a retail tenant.
“He asked Annette if she’d like to start a Hallmark there,” Rosanne Resteghene recalled. “She said she couldn’t do it alone, but if I helped her, we could get it off the ground. My youngest daughter had just left for college. I thought it would be a lot of fun to work with her.”
That family-friendly environment may be a plus in recruiting employees, says Julie Peacock, who has worked for the Resteghenes for four months. When she needs time off from work to visit her family in Detroit, “they have no problem with reassigning the work,” she said. “At larger firms where I’ve worked, there’s a lot of loose talk about balance between family life and work, but they don’t care.”
Customers also notice the difference. Three years ago Cindy Hann, a Shorewood medical transcriptionist, met with Priscilla Gruber to establish a living trust for her mother-in-law. Last year, Patricia created a similar trust for Hann’s mother. “Their presentation and concern for clients was absolutely identical,” she said. “I was amazed. It was reassuring. It was like working with the same lawyer, only younger.”
That’s because mothers and daughters usually have the same work ethic and ideas about doing business, says Sandra Gidley. Nine years ago she founded Gidley Management Group Inc., which serves as the business office for local not-for-profit associations. Her three daughters are her partners. “When we’re bidding for new work, one advantage is we have four people who can step in for each other,” she said.
“Because they’re a mother-daughter business, they work more closely as a unit,” said Deborah M. Sawyer, president of Chicago-based Federation of Women Contractors, a longtime Gidley client. “As a result, we get much more bang for the buck. Their 30-year history of communicating with each other is another plus I wish I had with my own employees.”
Despite these benefits, working together isn’t always easy, mother-daughter teams admit. “If one of us feels strongly about something, the other usually goes along,” said Susan Burke, co-owner with her mother, Mary Lou Shanahan, of Exclamations!, an Evergreen Park gift shop. “But, if an item’s been sitting on the shelf six months later at 50 percent off, the next time at bat, it’ll be brought up.” The Burke-Shanahan team also has another ironclad rule–not to argue in front of customers or employees.
At Jackie’s Hallmark Stores (the Resteghenes opened a second store in Glenview last September), problems are resolved using a two-thirds vote. “If we waited for everyone to agree, we’d never get anything done,” said Quick.
Sometimes daughters not actively involved in the business may get excluded from conversations with those who are, says Doris Christopher, The Pampered Chef chairman and founder. Her older daughter, Julie, is a co-owner, as well as corporate and consumer relations manager. Younger daughter Kelley, also a co-owner, is an elementary school teacher.
“We bend over backward to communicate, so Kelley doesn’t feel as if she’s left out,” Christopher said. “I also work a little harder to be connected to what she’s doing since Julie’s in the company.”
When they began working together, Priscilla Gruber had difficulty “separating the role of mother from the role of employer,” she admitted. “I would assign a case to Patricia. Sometimes she didn’t want to do it. As a mother, I was more lenient. But this wasn’t like getting her to eat her vegetables. The success of our business depended on her doing the case.”
Nowadays, that’s fine with Patricia. “When I talk to my friends at other firms, they talk about slave wages and back-stabbing,” she said. “At least, I know my firm isn’t going to split up because the senior partner doesn’t like me.”
