For a brief moment Thursday night at the United Center, a single red streamer floated over the stage, and the audience was almost quiet. Then the tip of Britney’s head appeared through the trapdoor, and it was fan-demonium.
That’s when “Doc” put in his earplugs.
The 40-year-old Chicago native, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of embarrassment, had no desire to be anywhere near Spears or her screaming multitudes, but his friend Thomas Hudek was celebrating his 34th birthday, and didn’t want to go it alone.
“I would love to see The Who,” Hudek offered by way of explanation, “but they’re not coming to town until August.”
So he bought two tickets to Spears instead, and dragged his best buddy along.
“Believe it or not,” Hudek said, “as an old rock ‘n’ roller, I really enjoy the young lady’s music.”
Hudek wasn’t the only Britney fan old enough to drink at the sold-out show. While it seemed the vast majority of attendees were still legal dependents — her official online newsletter asks subscribers if they are under 13, 13-15, 16-17 or over 18 — there was certainly more than just a smattering of unaccompanied adults on hand to see the 20-year-old diva sass, strut, sashay and lip-sync her way across the stage.
“We love to see her dance, and we like her clothes,” said 23-year-old Erica Marciniak. “We love the music. It’s fun!”
“I mean, you could spend $60 at a bar,” added her concert-mate, Julie Chessna, 22. “Or you could spend $60 on entertainment for the night.”
The two Chicago-area substitute teachers admitted they felt a bit out of place next to made-up, midriff-baring teenage girls, but they saw the concert as a balm for the workaday blues.
“Adult life can get dull,” Marciniak said, sighing. “We’re reliving our teenage years.”
Indeed, simple fun seemed the order of the day for most of Spears’ adult fans.
Tracy Noonan, 38, said she had learned some of Spears’ dance moves from a video and wanted to test them out at the concert.
“I learned how to pop and lock,” she said, laughing. “But I want to pick up more Britney moves, so when I go out to my black-tie parties, I can just clear the floor.”
Like many of the unaccompanied adults in attendance, Noonan said she was there as part of a “girls’ night out” party. When asked about their husbands, one woman exclaimed, “We couldn’t pay them enough to come!”
Jason Vaught, 27, was not so lucky. He complained at length that his friend Joel Cotter, 23, had “suckered” him in to attending by buying two tickets before asking him.
“I don’t like people who don’t write their own music,” said Vaught. “[Spears] does nothing. She gets up there and lip-syncs for two hours and charges $100 a ticket.”
But Cotter was unfazed. Cotter said he had attended nine previous Britney shows, and didn’t care if his friends thought he was crazy.
“I’m stupid, I’m gullible,” said Cotter. “But I’m just having fun.”
Cotter’s self-deprecation seems common among members of the tiny but vociferous community of dedicated adult teen-pop fans. Many such fans meet and share their enthusiasm on the Internet, oftentimes in age-exclusive chat groups with names like nsyncfansover21, or NFO21.
The substitute school teachers Chessna and Marciniak said they hope to relate better to their students by keeping up on events penned in red in many preteens’ social calendars.
Marciniak said she has used Spears’ breakup with ‘N Sync lead singer Justin Timberlake to find common ground with troubled children.
“I think it sends a good example to young girls that even Britney Spears gets dumped,” said Marciniak. “It makes them feel not as alone, I think.”
But Marciniak was quick to admit that she was mostly there for a good time. The rest was extra credit.
“Everybody likes something a bit childish sometimes,” she said.
Apparently not everyone. By the second half of the show, the United Center anterooms were filled with the bored and the deafened.
Christopher Kosmopolis, 28, and Monique Barba, 22, spent the last three numbers sharing cigarettes beside the Blackhawks’ “Evolution of the Skate” exhibit, because, Kosmopolis complained, “I could have stayed at home and watched it all on video. It’s the exact same thing that was on HBO.”
As the third-to-last number ended, Kosmopolis predicted bitterly that “I’m a Slave 4 U” would be the next song. Then he described her dance routine. Then he described the bikini she’d be wearing.
He was correct on all counts.
