Now that tycoon and role model (and light beer pitchman!) Steve Fossett has — after six attempts, six years and millions of dollars — satisfied his need to fly solo around the globe in a balloon, he says his next challenge will be to fly a glider to the stratosphere. Whatever. The Tempo Subcommittee on Derring-do has some better ideas:
– Walk solo around the mall in a pair of Capri pants.
– Marry Jennifer Lopez.
– Take the money earmarked for a 7th try and donate it to a food pantry.
– Watch a Philip Glass opera from start to finish.
– Lobby Congress to ban the designated hitter.
– Run for mayor of Chicago as a Republican.
– Stand on third base at Wrigley Field and see how long it takes Cubs batters to drive him in.
– Circumnavigate the salad bar at Old Country Buffet.
– Inhale the remaining gas from the Bud Lite Spirit of Freedom and glide through the stratosphere of his own living room.
– Catch an unairconditioned cab to Midway Airport and then get correct change from the driver.
– Drive solo to the Mayo Clinic for ego reduction surgery.
