Pity the peanut. Once known as a healthy, helpful, thrifty snack, the peanut–gossips have it–has gone bad. It torments small children, causing rash, nausea and watery eyes. Even fatalities.
And yet, the peanut pleads, it means no harm.
Growing up in the South, the humble legume once endured teasing as small, cheap and trivial. But under George Washington Carver’s guidance—and crusher–it found stick-to-it-iveness. Peanut butter was a parent-pleaser. Full of energy. And, like most kids, messy. Paired with grape jelly and smeared on crustless white, it sustained generations, ushering into adulthood the meatloaf- and quiche-averse. Roasted in the shell, it cheered National and American League alike. Foil-bagged, it co-piloted millions of flight-hours. Plain, it stocked the Jimmy Carter cabinet. Children forlorn in the lunchroom and hikers trapped in the woods have survived on the good will of the peanut alone.
And yet, the peanut now terrifies some 3 million allergic citizens, most of them underage. In response, public safety officials are on high peanut-alert. Candy wrappers warn consumers of the risk of peanut contact. Preschools post notice, polio-ward style: Peanut-Free Zone. Classmates caught smuggling in granola bars bearing traces of peanut particulate fear expulsion.
The non-allergic American chafes under such high-security measures. Tempted by a peanut, he risks citizen’s arrest. “Try one of my snacks instead,” insists the intervening mom, aiming a sharp carrot. “Because if you open those peanuts, we’ll have to land this plane.” Which may be why many airlines refuse to board peanuts.
Leaving the peanut despondent. Perhaps the news that it can ward off diabetes will help it win back friends. Maybe Prevention magazine’s Peanut-Butter Diet will improve its image. One day, an allergy vaccine might restore its reputation.
Until then, the peanut pines for the good old days when it was the child’s solemn duty to hide out in the backyard fort, constructing Ants-On-A-Log snacks from celery sticks, raisins and peanut butter. Kids these days, the peanut sighs, are missing out.
Strangely enough, some pediatric allergists agree. One explanation for the sudden increase in allergies is that our immune systems lack exposure to certain microbes. Ones available in that other outmoded childhood classic: dirt.
