Dear Harlan,
I have a close relationship with my girlfriend. We are both 18 and have been dating for two years. I think we will get married. By the way, I have pretty severe ADD, or attention deficit disorder.
Two weeks ago, I was talking to one of my female friends, who is hot. Suddenly, she starts kissing me. My mind was racing almost as fast as my heart was beating. Things did not go any further, but it took me way too long to concentrate enough to get out of the situation.
Two days later, it happened again. She admitted that she only wanted my body. After, the girl and I agreed to never speak of it and to avoid each other. I do not know if I should tell my girlfriend. I know that if it only happened once she would understand, but twice?
I really do not know why I allowed myself to be alone with the girl a second time. I’ve never cheated on my girlfriend before and never will again. It is the worst feeling I have ever had. My girlfriend cheated on me two months after we started going out but we worked through it. I am sure that if I tell my girlfriend, we will break up. What should I do?
Hormone Underestimator
Dear Underestimator,
You kissed her back and kept kissing her. And then you did it again. It’s not ADD. It’s just BAD. The problem with asking me is that I’m not one who is good at keeping these kinds of secrets from someone I love.
I think you’re overestimating the good in this relationship. So far, your only solution to avoid cheating is to avoid being with the hot girl. You’re just avoiding the truth. And the truth is, it may not be time for a committed relationship. Think about taking a break, at least until you can be in the same room with other hot girls and not make out with them–not even once.
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Harlan@helpmeharlan.com.
For more, chicagotribune.com/advice.
