The children have flown the coop. The house is eerily quiet, rooms are gathering dust and all the work and expense connected with running it no longer make sense. But leaving the family home of many years can be tough, whether you’ve been there 10, 20 or 30 years and are a Baby Boomer, octogenarian or somewhere in between.
Besides the sentimental attachment, there’s a practical one. In many cases, when married or single empty nesters downsize, all their furnishings, clothing and papers can’t be squeezed into a smaller home, townhouse or apartment.
How to make the choice of what goes and what doesn’t is hard for multiple reasons. Foremost is that most of us are creatures of habit and have too much stuff, says Chicago designer Anna Meyers of Anna Meyers Interiors Ltd.
“We find any change threatening. Beginning the process is among the most difficult parts,” she says.
Fortunately, there’s a relatively simple solution that eliminates bringing everything to the new place, then weeding things out for double the work and cost.
Meyers, other designers and organizational experts advise their clients in advance–long before the moving truck pulls up. They act as a neutral, experienced sounding board and also as an arbiter if spouses, significant others or children weigh in and disagree.
“We got into all sorts of battles about what we’d give up and keep when we decided to move,” says Roberta Gutman, who with her husband, David, moved from a large to smaller home several years after their son left for college. They used Meyers to help make the final calls. They’re now moving again and have called her in.
But the process is much more involved than a discussion. Meyers and others work methodically so that homeowners will soon be in love as much with their new homes.
Most professionals inventory clients’ existing belongings and take photographs or videos. They measure and make notes of pieces that their clients consider non-negotiable. Highland Park designer Barbara Strauss Cowan had clients who insisted on taking two “not gorgeous” recliners, she says.
They also study the new place and draw a floor plan to think about what will go where, which pieces can be used in new ways, what new items may have to be purchased and how best to maximize the smaller square footage through storage, light and color.
Somewhere early on comes analysis about clients’ future lifestyle and how they envision their new place will look, says Barbara Hemphill, owner of Hemphill & Associates Inc. in Raleigh, N.C., and author of “Taming the Paper Tiger at Home” (Kiplinger Books, $14.95).
For example, do they think they’ll entertain and need that second or third set of dishes and will their grown children stay overnight so they’ll need a traditional bedroom rather than a sleep sofa in a den?
“There’s no point of continuing to own three sets of bar glasses when they no longer drink or have company, and no reason to own tablecloths when they need to be ironed or drycleaned,” adds Brooke Givot, owner of First Impressions in Chicago.
Somewhere also is an attempt to pull forth from clients whether they might be taking any items out of guilt rather than love or need because dearly departed relatives who bequeathed them might be upset if they knew they were headed for auction, a yard sale, eBay or worse, a relative they disliked.
Designers also try to get their clients to think outside the box in how they’ll use a room. Chicago designer John Robert Wiltgen has often suggested that a dining room double as a den since many downsizing empty nesters are apt to host fewer big holiday meals and may not have that extra bedroom to serve as a home office. “One wall might be lined with bookshelves and a table could work as an eating surface and desk,” he says.
Furniture pieces can also do double duty. A trunk can be a coffee table and conceal linens, says Sue Pelley, owner of Interiors by Decorating Den in Indianapolis.
Chicago designer Tom Segal of Kaufman/Segal Design also tries to get clients to think differently about how many pieces of furniture and what scale should be used in probably smaller rooms. “Instead of furnishing a small den with a regular sofa and several chairs, they might use a love seat and two big comfortable chairs if only two of them are going to use the room most days,” he says.
Deciding whether existing tired furnishings should be reupholstered or be replaced is another common dilemma. The decision should hinge on sentimental value, the cost of work involved and moving expenses.
Sometimes, pieces can be used in different ways because of layout, room size, and any nooks and crannies. Givot has put glass tops on card tables to transform them into dining room tables when existing tables were too large. Chicago designer Jack Kreindler has taken a corner cabinet used in a living space, made adjustments and turned it into a linen cabinet for a dressing room.
Even draperies can be shortened or lengthened or panels turned into valances, Segal says. And clothing, too, should be considered as part of the editing exercise, says Jackie Tiani, president of Organizing Systems Inc. in Glendale Heights.
“Homeowners should consider how their lifestyle may have changed. They may no longer need the same big wardrobe. How many weddings a year do they go to anymore?” she says.
Once there’s a final checklist, designers typically draw a final scaled plan of where everything will go and what’s to be eliminated, and orchestrate other design and structural changes such as paint colors, wallpaper, kitchen or bathroom redos. Pelley frequently suggests lighter, brighter colors to open up smaller spaces.
If all is carefully thought through, there’s little need to rejigger once furnishings are moved into the new home. “What might change instead is how some furniture looks when it’s moved in–just different in the new setting,” says Kreindler.
But just in case, Chicago designer Leslie Stern prefers not to take chances and asks movers to stay a bit longer so she and clients can have them do the back-breaking work of rearranging then and there.
Some homeowners are lucky and despite their smaller quarters still have an out. Elaine and Bud Levis, married 60 years and residents of a home for 45 years, had designer Cowan include a big 6-by-18-foot closet in their apartment for everything they didn’t know what to do with.
“We’ve got chairs for parties and holidays and lots more there,” she says proudly.
But for those who don’t have that perk or are concerned, Wiltgen tells clients to remember: “Change may be hard, but it will end up liberating you,” he says.
10 organizational tips
– Give family heirlooms to younger family members and friends so you can enjoy watching them being used.
– Take photographs of items or collections as a remembrance before you pass them on.
– Increase functional storage space by using hooks, shelves and wall systems.
– Identify a specific space for specific items such as one drawer for sweaters, one shelf for flower vases.
– Put like items together in containers or boxes to reduce clutter and save space such as hats and gloves in a basket.
– Use favorite items for function as well as aesthetics such as a tall, deep ceramic vase to hold umbrellas or a trunk to store bedding for guests.
– Create a place to manage the business of your life–paying bills, answering letters.
– Find a space for a two-drawer filing cabinet to store valuable papers.
– Consider off-site storage for items infrequently used such as holiday decorations, legal papers and large suitcases.
– Remember author Barbara Hemphill’s law of quality living: Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful, think beautiful or love.
— Barbara Ballinger Buchholz
