The resort’s shelled mascot lingers at the bottom of a rocky grotto.
“What kind of turtle is he?” I ask Rebecca Finlason, one of the employees.
“A girl turtle,” she replies. “He is a she.”
Rebecca tells me that experts believe the reptile is about 100 years old. For much of her centenarian life, the animal has lived at what is now one of Jamaica’s more opulent retreats.
“We tried to release her, but she wouldn’t leave,” Rebecca says. “She loves it here. She gets fed every day. She’s protected. She’s relaxed.”
The turtle’s reluctance to depart is understandable. My wife, Dianne, and I suffer the same hesitance.
We have come to the Caribbean for a sun and fun getaway. It’s our second journey to Jamaica, and this time we are sampling Ocho Rios on the eastern top of the island. As before, we stay at an all-inclusive resort where one credit card swipe pays for everything.
Like the resident turtle, we are fed, protected and relaxed. Trapped in prepaid luxury, we risk spending a second week in Jamaica and never seeing the country. A stop at the resort’s tour desk facilitates an escape.
“We’d like to sign up for tomorrow’s bus tour to Kingston,” I tell the clerk.
“That trip may not go,” she says. “We need four people, and so far you are the only ones interested. If you want, I can set you up with a private driver and car. It costs a bit more, but you can travel where you want.”
We leave the next morning in a rental sedan chauffeured by Probyn Raffington, a middle-aged Jamaican who prefers to be called Ralphie. He begins the 54-mile passage across the island with a winding drive up Fern Gully. Banana plants and palm trees sprout from the walls of this jungly ravine.
“There are close to 200 different species of ferns growing here,” Ralphie tells us. “They don’t allow tree cutting, so the area is all natural.”
Emerging from the canyon, we head south across the island’s backbone where dark mountains loom as cloud-shrouded sentinels. Unlike bustling beaches, this land seems bucolic and serene. Farm animals run wild, and men haul cargo on bicycles. Signs show where former bauxite mines have been turned into fields and pastures.
Near the southern coast, we pass through Spanish Town, the country’s first capital. At the central square, Ralphie parks near a statue of Adm. George Rodney. In 1782, the British commander defeated the French, ensuring that future Jamaicans would speak English and ultimately drive on the left side of the road.
We continue to Kingston, a city marbled with wealth and poverty. Sprawling mansions cap a hillside ridge. Below, quilts of corrugated sheet metal form fences along the highway, protecting shanty subdivisions. High-rises and hovels coexist blocks apart. On one side of the road stands the headquarters of the Jamaican Stock Exchange. Across the street, goats forage in a trash-filled lot.
Uniformed school kids congregate on sidewalks. The boys dress in khaki. The girls sport the colors of their individual schools. Ralphie talks about Jamaican home life, revealing that the islanders have the same fears and desires that we do. They seek quality education for their kids while worrying about gangs, violence and drugs.
Crime is a serious problem in parts of Jamaica, especially in Kingston where some neighborhoods buzz with sporadic shootings. The U.S. Embassy warns its staff not to use overcrowded buses, and tourists are advised not to walk after dark. Ralphie insists they overstate the danger.
“Let me tell you one thing. In Jamaica they’re not going to hurt a visitor unless he is in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Trusting Ralphie to steer clear of risky places, we head for the Palisadoes, a slivery peninsula that bounds the foot of Kingston Harbor. At its tip stands Port Royal where 18th Century pirate “Calico Jack” Rackham was executed. Fellow buccaneers Mary Read and Anne Bonney were spared a similar sentence through a means not available to Rackham. Both were pregnant.
We stop at the remains of Ft. Charles, a stronghold built by the British. Its small museum houses relics including cannonballs and 20-pound leg shackles. Outside, a wooden walkway offers views of ocean, mountains and town. Called Nelson’s Quarterdeck, it honors Lord Horatio Nelson. Early in his career, the hero of Trafalgar contracted dysentery and was nursed at this Caribbean outpost.
Beyond the main stronghold stands the tilted remains of the fort’s gunpowder storage facility. An earthquake caused the structure to sink to a 30-degree angle. Ralphie says the name Giddy House comes from people’s reaction to walking the sloping floor. It might also reflect how some folks feel when they hide inside and smoke the local ganja.
Back on the road, we ask our driver for a higher view of Kingston. He takes us toward the Blue Mountains that dominate the skyline north of town. We clear the city and start the sinuous route upward.
The car crawls toward cloud-capped peaks. Somewhere in the mist and drizzle stands Jamaica’s highest summit, which towers a cool 7,402 feet above the Caribbean shores. Flowers bloom beside the roadway. They form pink and yellow corsages on the mountain’s jungle-green bodice.
Villages dot the hillside. Most consist of a few shacks covered with stucco and weathered clapboard. All seem to be misnamed. In Irish Town, there is nary a Guinness to be found, and Redlight sports neither a traffic signal nor brothel.
We stop at castleless Newcastle, now a Jamaica Defense Force installation. Below, hills plunge to a distant Kingston. While we admire the rain-sodden view, a four-wheel-drive Suzuki Samurai arrives from up the road. Ralphie chats with its driver.
“He says the route ahead is clear. If you want, we can return to Ocho Rios that way.”
The paving beyond looks like it was slapped down by a Jamaican chain gang. Stretches of blacktop have totally disappeared, and what remains has more craters than a minefield. The car often scrapes bottom, threatening to leave muffler and bumper behind.
“It’s only a rental,” Dianne and I assure each other.
We continue on a descent route that soon parallels the Buff Bay River. The torrent churns with tumbling rapids and cascades. Side streams sheet down in waterfalls from luxuriant hillsides. This breathtaking road is a favorite of mountain biking tourists who take vans up and pedal down.
Two young women, employees of the bicycle outfitter, walk home in the rain. We offer a lift. The pair seem jovial as they tell us about their jobs and how they make the up-and-down trek every day. We leave them in their individual villages as daylight fades to darkness.
The sky is black when we reach the coastal town of Buff Bay. It is Friday evening, and disco music blares at ear-bleed decibels. The whole town, it seems, has assembled just to hang out. The aroma of food fills the air, triggering a Pavlovian hunger response. It reminds us that tonight is the resort’s Grand Gala Buffet, an exotic feast served under the stars.
It’s time head back so we can resume being fed, protected and relaxed.
IF YOU GO
WHEN TO GO
Like much of the Caribbean, Jamaica offers a tropical climate that can be pleasant year-round. Near the beaches, temperatures average in the 80s, and sea breezes help moderate summer extremes. Mountain temperatures are considerably cooler, with Blue Mountain Peak averaging in the cool 50s.
High season in Jamaica extends from mid-December through early April. Lodging rates decline through the summer. The island’s rainy periods occur in late spring and early autumn.
GETTING THERE
Air Jamaica (800-523-5585) operates the only daily non-stop service from Chicago to Montego Bay. American Airlines (800-433-7300) operates daily service with a connection in Miami. American Trans Air (800-435-9282) has non-stop service on Thursdays and Sundays from Midway. Most all-inclusive resorts provide round-trip airport transfers as part of the package.
ACCOMMODATIONS
Jamaica is the king of the all-inclusive vacation resort, with 35 percent of the island’s rooms in all-inclusive properties. In the Ocho Rios area, SuperClubs’ Grand Lido Sans Souci (800-GO-SUPER; www.superclubs.com) features luxurious, ocean-view rooms in a spa-like atmosphere. Sandals Ocho Rios and Sandals Dunn’s River (800-SANDALS, www.sandals.com) feature complimentary golf (mandatory caddies not included). Couples (800-COUPLES, www.couples.com), the resort that started it all, offers romantic accommodations with no singles or children allowed. Costs vary by season, location and type of room.
THE CROSS-ISLAND TOUR
From Ocho Rios, the one-day private tour to Kingston with driver and car cost about $250. Arrangements may be made through the resorts’ tour desks or through Island Car Rental (876-974-2666). Entry fees for Ft. Charles and other sites are not included.
NEAR OCHO RIOS
Visitors wanting to make less distant ventures off resort properties will find that the town of Ocho Rios offers a plethora of tourists shops, restaurants and discos. At the nearby Dunn’s River Falls, adventurous souls can clamber to the top of a 600-foot cataract. Other off-premise activities include horseback riding, plantation tours, river rafting, downhill mountain biking, helicopter rides and sunset dinner cruises. Most can be arranged through the tour desks found at most of the all-inclusive resorts.
INFORMATION
For more information, call the Jamaica specialists at 800-JAMAICA (800-526-2422; www.1-800-jamaica.com) or contact the Jamaica Tourism Board (800-233-4582; www.jamaicatravel.com).
— D.L.
