Dear Harlan,
While in boot camp, I met a girl I absolutely fell in love with. We talked every chance we got. We ended up being stationed together. For the past two months, we have done everything together. It wasn’t long before it began to turn romantic.
Then, she received orders to go fight the possible war in Iraq. She was granted a two-week leave to go home, and then she has to deploy for Iraq. We decided to rent a hotel room for the weekend and spent all night talking and eventually ended up sleeping together. That night, she told me that she would never forget our night and that she would call me every day. That was a little over two weeks ago. I’ve called, but she never answers. I know she gets my messages because her voice-mail greeting has changed several times.
Could I have done something wrong, or did she just play me for the fool? I went from being the happiest person in the world to the saddest in less than 48 hours. I don’t know what happened or what to do.
So Sad
Dear So Sad,
Try seeing it through her eyes–she fell for a guy, she’s getting shipped off for possible war, and she’s coming off the most incredible weekend ever. Her mind is in one place, her body is in another, and her new man is in still another. It’s hard to think about it all, so not thinking is an option, which might explain her lack of action.
Assume that it’s the situation, not you. If you need closure, make one last call and tell her what she means to you. Leave it “to be continued” and hope that sometime, in some place, you can continue where you left off. No matter what happens, no one can take away what you two have shared.
Think about it like this: You have given her the greatest gift to take with her to Iraq–two amazing months with you.
———-
Harlan@helpmeharlan.com.
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